


At the Beginning Again

by fs_rm



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (i'll add more tags why must they be so difficult), Draco becomes friends with the trio, F/M, Sirius and Fred survive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:02:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27551215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fs_rm/pseuds/fs_rm
Summary: The day before his trial, worried about going to Azkaban, Draco wishes of changing his life.When he wakes up, he's eleven again.Given a second chance in life, he decides to avoid the war altogether, but he didn't expect how different his life could become.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Ginny Weasley
Comments: 72
Kudos: 144





	1. Before the Trial

**Author's Note:**

> Friendly reminder, Trans rights matter, jk is wroooonnnggg
> 
> I recommend listening to James Young - I'll be good, it really sets the tone of this first chapter ;)

_“_ _My past has tasted bitter for years now_ _  
__So I wield an iron fist_ _  
__Grace is just weakness or so I've been told_ _  
__I've been cold, I've been merciless_  
 _But the blood on my hands scares me to death_ _  
__Maybe I'm waking up_

_Today_

_I'll be good”_

Draco stared outside his window at the gardens of Malfoy Manor, sprawling in front of himuntidy for the first time in his life, overgrown in bits and pieces, it quite fit his tormented state.

It had been three months already.

Three months since the end of the war and the Dark Lord’s fall. In another place and time, his father had seen his master disappear and had been left confused. Now, he got to watch the man die and the darkest part of him rejoiced.

That part dripped with hatred, he had been terrified and humiliated by the man who had called himself Voldemort, watching over his shoulder at every turn, prisoner of his own mind as he was turned into a puppet.

Draco’s hands still trembled, repeating the motion for the _Cruciatus_ curse, before the images in his dreams turned a sickening green, and he’d wake up in a cold sweat, clawing at his left arm as if it truly still hurt, crying himself to sleep.

It was truly a miserable end for someone who’d prized himself as the best, like the Manor’s gardens, he’d been curated and raised with no expenses spared, a jewel to his name ultimately left to its own devices before being totally abandoned.

He had tried everything he knew, everything he’d been taught, so he could achieve that world his father had told him about growing up, in the years he had seen those promises crumble one after the other before they became just lies.

All of that had only brought him where he stood then.

In the aftermath of the war the winning side had rounded up the remaining followers of Voldemort, and as the Malfoy had quietly surrendered at the Battle of Hogwarts, they had been allowed to spend their time before their trial in house arrest.

His mother would be cleared, he knew that, she had told them what she’d done to help the boy who lived twice, even if it had been only for his sake, he’d known Potter long enough to know that he wouldn’t deny a pardon for someone who kept him alive.

His father would go to Azkaban, he knew that, everyone knew where he stood in the war, what he was ready to do, and all his sins, who would pardon a man like his father? He wanted to believe, to hold on to the memory of his father’s glory days, but his feelings were muddled, a faint apathy towards the word in general, he could barely spare it for his family.

As for himself?

Draco struggled to find hope, his mother had tried to cheer him, telling him he was a minor through out the worst of his part and that no one could deny he’d been forced for the rest of it, but he disagreed, to the ones that were left to judge him, his behaviour was just viewed as his natural progression, many would consider it a good riddance. He’d seen their eyes in the great hall, he’d even say that half were apprehensive that the Malfoys were just preparing for a last attack.

After all, hadn’t it been him that opposed the boy destined to save them all?

Hadn’t it been him who cheered the actions of the mad man Voldemort?

Hadn’t it been who proclaimed his side from day one?

Draco didn’t know how to feel about his past, was he supposed to regret it? Or was his regret just another way to feel more pitiful, plead as a better person? Wouldn’t that just make him a hypocrite?

Most of the time, what he felt was the war between his apathy and his hatred.

His heart an ever-growing winter.

He’d close himself in his room most days and hear his parents worried whispers on the other side, when in company he'd speak little and often spaced out, his mother, in particular, tried her hardest to bring him out, his father tried on occasions, but one look told him that he too, believed they would end up in Azkaban before long.

A clock ticking closer to its finish line.

The trial was to be tomorrow.

He picked up the Daily Prophet, rereading the few lines about their trialdespite knowing that nothing changed, Draco’s eyes wandered to the much bigger and, according to the paper, more important news about Potter joining the Auror training and rumours of an engagement, the picture was a candid Draco imagined, Potter never liked pictures and Draco had delighted in using that against him, what had he hoped to achieve? He no longer remembered.

In the picture, Potter seemed to be walking somewhere as his picture self walked from one edge only to reappear on the other and begin again, by his side, holding his arm was the Weasley girl, Draco couldn’t remember her name at that moment, she hadn’t been of much interest before sixth year when it seemed that everyone had suddenly wanted to talk about her, only getting worse when she started dating Potter. Draco supposed they deserved each other, now Potter could bloody become the Weasley he always wanted to be, Draco truly didn’t care anymore at this point.

Potter had no reason to speak for him, they’d been enemies from the start on the train, he’d almost killed his best friend and it was his house where Potter had been imprisoned and Granger tortured, even at the end, he’d stood against the hero. Why would he believe he would escape imprisonment?

Draco gave a rueful laugh.

What kind of person was he supposed to be instead?

What kind of life could he have lived?

Maybe, if he could, he would be someone else, someone simple that could disappear into the shadows, away from the war and the scheming, he didn’t even care about the mudbloods anymore, they could have it all if they wanted for all that he cared, away from Voldemort mind games, his parents would’ve been free to run away, not having to worry about putting his life on the line.

The thought filled him with more warmth than anything in a long time.

Tears filled his eyes, smiling and feeling them hitting his lips he observed the garden again.

Flowers he’d never seen before had sprouted in those months, birds had made nests in the trees, bees had flown around and frogs jumped around, it was so different from his childhood, ready to begin anew.

But autumn was arriving and soon winter would destroy all of that.

And he would be in Azkaban by then.

There were no do-overs in life and he’d soon be facing the consequences of the one he’d lived.

Forcing himself into his bed, Draco stared at the ceiling as he tried to fall asleep, he’d have thought it would take longer, afraid as he’d been of nightmare and insomnia appearing more than once, but that night, despite what the next day brought, the warmth he felt lulled him into a dreamless sleep.

When Draco woke up that morning, he felt better rested than he had in years, he almost believed he could count on small blessings but when he sat on the bed, a terrible dizziness hit him, his mind feeling about to explode he tried to move towards the bathroom, his body behaving completely different from what he’d expected.

Somehow, missing his mark off the bed he ended up stumbling and falling to the ground, it hurt but at that moment he was just glad he wasn’t nauseated, that wasn’t a day he wanted to begin by puking himself.

The headache seemed to lessen just enough for him to move but everything felt strange, the room seemed much larger and taller than before and it didn’t help that his limbs refused to move as he wanted them to.

He could’ve sworn that when he was thirteen he had gotten rid of the terrible drawing he’d made after his letter arrived the first time, maybe his mother had found it and tried to make him feel better? He wouldn’t put it past her.

Fighting his mind for focus he tried to reach the bathroom door but when he stood in front of it he had to take a moment to breathe, trying to relax his body and stop the pain, and it seemed to work, his body was sore from the fall but his head was slowly going away, his eyes slowly focusing again.

As that happened, he squinted at the mirror in the corner and moved towards it, wondering if he was going crazy.

But when his vision cleared, there was no doubt about it.

He was going crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! If you're here from Choices: Nice to see you again!!!  
> Quite a somber first chapter huh, oh well, really had to make Draco miserable for his eventual wish to work no ;D Hahaha that's what you get from a writer that loves isekais too much XD  
> As you can see from this first chapter, Draco is still a bit of a little shit, couldn't just start at him being perfect no? ;D  
> Hum, I suppose it doesn't really have anything to do here but I want to vent XD Is anyone else bothered by the fact that during the summer Harry supposedly falls for Ginny, they have three interactions and all three are about making fun of Fleur? I dunno, it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.


	2. Eleven Again

_He was going crazy._

There was no doubt in his mind that _that_ had to be the only explanation.

How would one explain otherwise?

Because looking into the mirror he saw himself... at eleven.

Mirrors were a curious thing in the wizarding world, some spoke, some showed other people, and one, they said, even showed what the person in front of it wanted more than anything else. Tricky object at any point, Draco, however, was sure he had none of those in his bedroom, and he’d never heard about one that showed your past self.

Raising his hand to his cheek, he could feel both the softness of his child skin, his hand small as he pinched himself, a dream couldn’t hurt but that did, so a dream it couldn’t be.

Had he gone crazy, alone in his room for all that time? And was now hallucinating he was a child? Instead of Azkaban would he end up in St. Mungo’s?

Not a particularly better option.

And yet it didn’t matter where he looked from or closing his eyes before looking again, the image reflected continued to be him, back as an eleven-year-old boy.

He heard a sound behind him and jumped, the elf gave him a brief questioning look before realizing what that could mean and rapidly looked to the floor instead, Draco sighed, the arrival of a house-elf shouldn’t have scared him that way but with all the strange things happening he just wasn’t paying enough attention.

“Yes... uh,” he struggled to remember the name of that elf, sure he’d been thrown out at some point “Dobby?”

“Mistress Malfoy calls the young master for breakfast,” the elf said quickly, burying his head on his shoulders.

Draco blanked for a moment, he heard the words but it was if he hadn’t understood them, he had no idea of what was expecting him next, what would his parents see when they looked at him? Would they have a fit once they saw his child self? However, if he was hallucinating, would they just see the normal him?

“Uh, young master?” the elf asked again, afraid of the punishment for the boy disobedience.

Draco blinked, realizing he’d been just staring ahead, doing nothing.

Like a crazy person.

He sighed “Yes, I’ll--, I will be going”

The elf nodded and disappeared, leaving Draco alone again.

He looked around the room, trying to see what else was off about the room, as he had noticed previously there was his old drawing, an ugly thing with him as head boy and holding the quidditch cup, neither had he been able to have.

Walking towards his closet he saw some books were missing, but he couldn’t tell which ones, he just noticed in the first place because the Daily Prophet he’d been reading wasn’t on his desk anymore, Draco supposed it was better than just staring at that first page over and over again.

The clothes in his closet were the same as when he was eleven too, he didn’t know what it meant, was he so far gone that he hallucinated all his things as what they been then? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, opening them again he took the first clothes he saw, trying not to think too deeply about his sudden transformation.

He left his room without a second glance to the mirror in the corner and run toward the dining room, almost falling along the way as his body didn’t act the way he expected it, he briefly hesitated in front of the door but decided to ignore that feeling, maybe seeing his parents would make his mind better.

He entered quietly, observing as his father, looking healthier than Draco had seen him in a long time, read the Prophet before taking a bite of his food, while his mother drank some tea, from the scent, Draco would say it was her favorite blend of apple, cinnamon, and hibiscus, she hadn’t drunk it after his father had been arrested, so Draco was very confused.

Everything looked strange and different.

And yet it was all familiar, like a memory.

Draco frowned, his mind couldn’t be that far gone, it couldn’t recreate memories that... _alive_.

His mother raised her head and saw him, smiling she called him to his seat, there were fewer lines on her face, missing in particular were the ones acquired out of stress during the war. His father gave him a smile and a nod of acknowledgment, no dark line under his eyes, and they weren’t glassy from Azkaban.

It was so peaceful Draco wanted to scream.

His feelings in disarray he slowly made his way to the table, his breakfast was perfect but he was afraid to touch it and discover it was all in his mind too, although, even _that_ , seemed wrong now.

Sensing his hesitation, Narcissa frowned and looked at him worried “Are you all right, love?”

“Yes, I’m just not hungry” Draco nodded, unsure how to act in that memory.

Lucius shook his head but smiled “Worried? I suppose it is natural at your age”

“At my age?” he repeated, eyes widening.

Narcissa giggled “Of course, going to Hogwarts is a big step”

Draco blanked again, had his mother said, _going to Hogwarts_?

Was he reliving his days before the beginning of school, before his life began? There was a lot of good before his fall, so why would he be remembering his eleven years old self in specific? Had that been his happiest and he hadn’t noticed before, thus re-living it now?

But he had already ruled out dreams, and memories would be looked at from the outside, so what was happening to him?

“Draco?” he heard his father say, turning to look at him Draco saw his strict eyes “Are you that scared?”

He blushed, sure that answering _“I’m not eleven, I’m eighteen”_ wouldn’t seem very sane, why was he eleven anyway?

“I’m not scared,” he answered, sure of what his father expected him to answer, he had already lived through that after all “I just hadn’t realized others would feel that way”

Narcissa rolled her eyes with a smile while Lucius nodded approvingly.

“Others aren’t strong as a Malfoy,” his father said but Draco refused to answer, eating instead.

 _Strong as a Malfoy?_ Oh, how had they crumbled.

It did, however, gave him time to think.

This was much bigger than his mind and too clear to be a memory, but the only answers left was just impossible.

His parents started talking and Draco would briefly catch some words while trying to sort out his own thoughts, they would talk about work, about Narcissa upcoming party, about the Ministry, about, and Draco almost laughed at the irony of that one, the latest humiliation of Arthur Weasley, eventually, the conversation was bound to fall on him again.

“What?” he asked, sure he’d missed something important while lost in thoughts.

“Tomorrow, we’ll go to Diagon Alley, get your wand and what you need for school” his mother explained, stroking his head.

Draco nodded, which had helped him orientate himself and he finally gained some ground in his new situation.

If things were going as he expected them then the next thing to happen would be...

“Master Malfoy” an elf appeared, head low on the ground

“Yes, Golly,” his father asked slowly, making the elf tremble, worried it would be punished for interrupting.

“It’s Mister Crabbe,” the elf rushed “He says there are new businesses Master should look into”

Lucius rolled his eyes “When has that man ever had a good business idea in his life?” but he got up nonetheless “Very well, Golly you are dismissed”

The elf couldn’t disappear faster.

“Going already?” Narcissa pouted, she did that whenever she thought she could convince Lucius to not do something and most of the time it worked, but Draco knew that wouldn’t be one of those occasions, and it wouldn’t be for a long time.

“I still need to be there, if it’s a success it would give the Crabbe’s the wrong idea,” Lucius said, giving her a brief kiss “and if it’s a disaster I should remind them who stands above their ideas”

Draco stared blankly at the window, giving the briefest of goodbyes because after his father left, a letter for him and his mother arrived.

Narcissa was confused by Draco’s behaviour but ignored it when she saw the approaching owl.

“Did you see it from that far?” she asked surprised “Your father does say you have the eye of a seeker”

Draco didn’t answer, just rushed to get the letter and confirm his doubts once and for all.

Looking at the invitation for the Greengrass party, Draco couldn’t deny it anymore.

It wasn’t his mind or even a memory.

He truly was in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the first three chapters are already here, I'll probably add the third later today, hope this is good! :D  
> Not much to say yet and no rants this time XD Oh well, I'll find something ;)


	3. The Plan

Narcissa couldn’t understand her son that day, he’d been talking non stop about Hogwarts and what he’d be doing at Hogwarts and how great he’d be at Hogwarts, and now, the day before they were set to go buy his school supplies, he was completely silent.

He’d barely eaten and had been blankly looking around the manor, not talking to anyone before shutting himself away in his room, Narcissa knew that as he grew older things would change but that suddenly from a bright child to that gloominess? Was he sick, did he worry that telling would delay him going to Hogwarts? He had always been open if he wanted something or didn’t felt right, so what could it be?

“Golly” she called.

“Yes, mistress?”

“Prepare some biscuits, quickly” she ordered, walking towards Draco’s room.

When Narcissa arrived at his door the elf reappeared, a tray ready for her.

Narcissa took the biscuits and entered the door, in some way she had hoped that Draco had only felt a little down in the beginning and that she would see him now, jumping on the bed, or making more drawings of the things he’d achieve in school, but he was just seated in front of the window, looking as if he was miles away, and the drawing had disappeared from the desk.

“Draco...”

She saw him turning and smiling, it seemed so normal and so real, and yet she couldn’t feel like it was, Narcissa had never seen her son that way, and she had no idea how to help him.

“I brought biscuits” she smiled and showed him the tray.

He came running and smiling cheerfully “Only chocolate, right?”

That seemed somewhat normal, Narcissa couldn’t shake that something was wrong but that was the first time that day that Draco didn’t seem like someone else.

“Of course, the elves wouldn’t dare prepare the wrong ones”

He took one and Narcissa calmed, she was just worrying too much about him leaving, what else could have changed a child like Draco? That must be what happened.

She left the tray on the desk and turned towards him, much happier than when she entered the room.

“Why did you take down your drawing, I liked it” she joked.

Draco shrugged, still smiling “I just think I don’t want to be head boy anymore”

That surprised her, he had only talked about achieving every position in the school before.

“Why not? You’d be the handsomest head boy they ever had” she said, stroking his hair, noticing that Draco hadn’t eaten the biscuit, she was about to frown when she heard him laugh.

“I don’t need to be head boy for that!”

Narcissa laughed, of course, he’d think like that, truly his father’s son.

“I think you should go, mum,” he said then, to her confusion, “Blaise told me his mother would visit”

“Really? Without telling me?” Narcissa also couldn’t remember being told of any owls for Draco, but perhaps he’d found a way of hiding from her, keep his friend’s mail as a secret.

So she smiled.

“Thank you, love,” she said “And your father should return soon”

His smile seemed to falter but it was so quick, Narcissa assumed she imagined it.

“I know.”

Once his bedroom door was fully closed Draco let his smile fall.

He put the biscuit back in the tray and sighed, he would have to do a lot of convincing before Hogwarts started, he couldn’t have his parents doubting him and besides, he didn’t want to worry his mother. He had done a lot of thinking in the past hours, looking around the manor for things he knew would happen.

And lo and behold, all came true.

He had no idea of what had happened and even thought that perhaps the real dream had been his life afterward, a long, terrible, dream. That, maybe, nothing had ever happened, that Voldemort never came back, that his father was never arrested, that he wasn’t forced into the Death Eaters ranks, and that he would never set foot in Azkaban...

Draco pulled up his sleeve, his skin was lily-white, no mark viciously burned into it, just his arm, but he knew what had been there, so he sat on his bed, closing his mind to everyone and everything, his occlumency shields working as perfectly as before, something he hadn’t learned in a day.

He just couldn’t close his eyes and deny that his past had happened, it wasn’t a dream, and yet that he’d been given a chance at a second life was as crazy as that.

_What kind of life could he have lived?_

Maybe, if now he could, maybe, he could be someone else.

Take his chance and burn that past, live a better, safer life, and take his parents with him.

The war didn’t need them, Voldemort didn’t care, Dumbledore didn’t care.

He had the chance and just leave.

Looking at the clock, he smiled, his father was back, and he had a long way in front of him.

Maybe he’d take the biscuit too.

“Dad!”

It wasn’t always that Draco called Lucius as dad, taught on old traditions Lucius believed it was better for Draco to call him father, the correct and proper way. But even his heart wasn’t stone and he’d allow the boy to call him dad when he’d falter.

And at that moment, Draco was anything but calm, he wasn’t sure it would work but the elation had gone to his head, he just had to talk to his father.

“Back to normal I see,” Lucius said, looking at the excited child.

“Dad!” Draco panted slightly, his smaller body not used to it “I need to talk to you!”

Lucius raised his eyebrow, but acquiesced to the request, bringing Draco to his study.

The boy stared at him putting his things away, anxious to start the conversation, but Lucius didn’t budge, after all, he thought _What could a child like Draco have to tell me that urgently?_ In Lucius mind their life as perfect as one could be, perhaps he could make it better by removing muggle taint where he could and he could do without ever hearing the name Weasley again, but certainly, those were small inconveniences in his path, what could disturb that?

He sat down at his desk and looked at his son on the other side.

“Very well, what do you want to talk about?”

“I’ve been thinking” Draco began, smiling “Maybe I shouldn’t go to Hogwarts”

“WHAT?”

Draco rushed to explain “Mum wants me to stay close, so we could all go somewhere else, she likes France, I could go to Beauxbatons! Or America instead! I could go to Ilvermorny!”

Lucius frowned, getting up from his desk and going towards Draco, he stared at the boy, trying to understand where those ideas came from, for the first time he regretted not being able to master Legilimency like Severus, having a child made the prospect much more interesting.

Draco had forgotten how his father had looked like when he’d been a child, looking from above, towering over him, he wanted to run but the memory of a much different Lucius Malfoy still filled his vision, that of a man broken, shivering from his return from Azkaban, and that strengthened his resolve to try and convince him.

“I know it sounds crazy” he whispered “But if you trust me, you will see we can be happier somewhere else”

Lucius sighed and returned to his desk.

“Draco, you’re young,” his father began “You still need to understand that life is about strength”

“It’s not like that! Dad, we need-- “

Lucius motion for him to quieten.

“Draco” cold steel eyes looked down on him.

“You are a Malfoy, and in time you will learn...”

“...We are above, and we can’t let those underneath think they won” Draco mumbled irritatedly.

“I already know all that!” he screamed to the nothing behind him.

He knew all that.

He knew.

How he himself had doubted Snape on his father's belief that people would always want to take their place, Draco could remember the sting of Vincent talking about his downfall, it was laughable how right his father could be from being so wrong.

They had enough for themselves, they could let them have that position, he didn’t want it anymore.

_But you did want it. Once._

If his father wouldn't leave, then Draco would need to find his own way to escape the war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, the third chapter! Hope you like it! :D  
> Since it's the first year, there won't be much Ginny yet but next chapter will have our first look at Harry! See you then!


	4. To Diagon Alley

When morning came, Draco had a plan.

He thought for a long time about where his problems begun and being unable to take his family from Britain, which left him with the year when Voldemort returned.

He would be happy to never see the man return ever again, but who’d listen to an eleven-year-old about the darkest wizard of their era? No, trying to convince the fools on the other side would take more time than he cared to waste, they had done well enough without him anyway, so why try?

That brought him to the summer after his fifth year when his father was arrested and he brought into the Death Eaters fold.

He was the key to his parent's obedience and torture, and they were his.

The only way he could think of changing that fate would be to disappear, he knew the movements of the Death Eaters and how they would operate, what they could and what they could not do, it was his perfect escape. They would never find him and his parent would free to run away, who knows, maybe they would even find asylum with the fools in exchange for information, what had stopped them before was the worry of failing and putting him in danger, being forced back into Hogwarts, he had little safety, now instead, he would be able to come back after the battle of Hogwarts, free.

It was the perfect plan, and all he would need to do was to wait patiently for the next five years.

Draco sighed.

That was a long time, but it was a small price to pay for his second chance.

He’d just have to endure it.

His mother smoothed his clothes and made sure his hair was perfectly combed for the third time, it was a pain but he didn’t dare refuse, if his plan worked then he’d have to spend years away from her, so Draco would let Narcissa fuss over him for a few more years.

“Are you ready?” Lucius asked, waiting for the scene to be over.

Narcissa smiled, pulling Draco closer to her, “We may go now”

The three made their way to Diagon Alley through the fireplace, and Draco took a deep breath, to his parents it hadn’t been long since they had last been there but for him, it was the first time out of the manor in months. Being outside almost made him brighten, the colours, the streets, it was like seeing it all for the first time, he’d never appreciated the liveliness of his world until he saw how desolate it could be under fear.

Now he truly felt part of the past, that he truly was back.

It made him sure that his plan was the right choice.

“What do you want to do first Draco?” his mother asked.

“I heard there is a new broom,” his father said, smirking “First years are not supposed to have one but perhaps...”

Draco just stared ahead, pretending he was thinking, he knew what his father meant but also knew it wouldn’t work, for his plan he wanted to pass the next five years as quietly as possible, and besides, bending the rules was only allowed for Potter.

Looking around, actually thinking this time, he spotted something and decided he was allowed a simple desire after returning to the past and before he fulfilled his plan.

“I want ice cream”

Narcissa giggled, glad that after the previous day strange behaviour, Draco was just acting as a child should. Lucius rolled his eyes, he expected something more interesting or mischievous, not that he wasn’t convinced the moment he’d be asked for the broom wouldn’t come.

At Fortescue’s, Draco enjoyed his treat, during his months closed in the manor he’d been too stressed to consider eating for more than staying alive, and he couldn’t remember eating anything just for the taste since before that, now that he was back, he was free to actually feel the taste, and enjoy knowing that he’d escape Voldemort return.

All in all, he thought it was a great ice cream.

Lucius took a look at his watch, if Draco remembered correctly then his father had more business later that day and they would split up.

“I will go ahead and pick Draco’s books,” his father said, getting up “This way will be faster”

His mother turned towards him “Do you mind going to Madam Malkin’s ahead, Draco?”

He offered her a smile “Of course not, mother”

She smiled and fixed his hair again, before getting up too.

Once they left, Draco let his smile fall, despite the feelings Diagon Alley brought back, he didn’t think he’d be truly happy until it was all over and Voldemort was gone again.

He walked towards the store, observing as other kids gawked at the Nimbus, they would do the same once the new model came, and then once more when the Firebolt arrived, he’d already seen it, but it did make him wonder what he would for Quidditch, should he even try? It would probably go against his plan of making himself as unremarkable as he could.

Can’t find a man you know nothing about.

So he shrugged and continued his way, opening the door and let Madam Malkin lead him to the witch that had pinned his first set of robes, not paying much attention around him. He heard someone arrive, and could vaguely remember talking with another boy while waiting for his robes to be done, but he didn’t feel like talking to whomever it was.

Draco could tell the boy was curious, looking over at him sometimes, and if Draco was to guess, he’d say it was the behaviour of the mudbloods, still trying to adapt to their world, they all appeared on the edge of constantly asking around, thankfully most kept to themselves, too afraid to approach others. Despite the awkward silence, Draco much preferred it to talking.

To avoid any eye contact that might prompt someone to talk to him, Draco, instead, looked at the window, soon noticing that someone he unfortunately knew stood there, holding two ice creams, a scene he had completely forgotten.

“Hagrid?” he whispered.

A voice he knew arrived from where the boy he ignored was.

“You know him too?!”

He turned surprised, it truly was Potter, and in a more than the strange situation, the boy was smiling, although it faltered under Draco scrutiny, uncomfortable the boy raised a thin hand to flatten the hair over his forehead to try and hide the scar.

Draco had briefly considered Potter’s role in his plan, since Draco no longer cared for what his father’s side did, he was glad to see them fall really, so he also no longer cared if the boy wanted to be the hero.

However, for his next five years, maybe it didn’t need to be a slow crawl to freedom, after all, from his previous life, Draco knew all of Potter’s movements, what he would do, what he could get away with, all his quidditch tactics, Draco could change it all, _he could..._

Draco sighed, what could he? Did he really wanted to live in the shadow of Harry Potter again? To fall again into the role he had before he lost everything?

_Keep in mind the plan, keep in mind the plan, keep in mind..._

Draco repeated to himself.

So when the boy hopped down from the footstool to avoid the uncomfortable silence, Draco just watched him go. Decided on leaving Potter and his trio alone, he knew better now.

Can’t find a man you know nothing about.

Once the witch was finished, he too hopped down, leaving the store and going towards Ollivanders where his mother waited for him. Narcissa frowned when she saw him, adjusting his clothes again and mumbling about employees that had no respect.

They entered the store and were greeted by Mr. Ollivander himself, Draco’s stomach twisting at the thought that the last time he saw the man it was in the manor’s dungeon, pushing those thoughts deep inside of him, he listened to the man in the present.

He greeted his mother first, reminisced of when she was a little girl getting her new wand, then asking about his father’s wand and politely enquiring about its state, the first time around, it had confused Draco how Ollivander referred to the wands as if they were old friends of his, now, after years with his wand he just wanted it back into his hand.

He let the man try the different wands, a show for the sake of not attracting attention, but he felt the connection before it was even out of its box.

And when Ollivander handed the wand to him, it just felt right.

For the first time.

With his wand and with his plan.

It just felt right.

He was ready to disappear into the crowd at Hogwarts, it was so different from who he was but he didn’t mind, he didn’t even mind if they wouldn’t remember him, he didn’t remember them anyway, no one had to know much about him so his plan would work.

_Can’t find a man you know nothing about._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this chapter good? I'm not sure, I really wanted the scene of Draco giving up on defeating Harry to happen, but I kind of feel it didn't fit entirely? What do you guys think?  
> I hope you guys like this chapter and next chapter will be the start of the interesting bits and how Draco is about to change his second life without even realizing it ;)


	5. The Train to Hogwarts

The noise and movement of Platform Nine and Three-Quarters were exactly the same, the ways his parents had complained about having to walk through muggles had been the same, everything was the same as he remembered.

Draco was the only one that was different.

His days the month before Hogwarts was set to begin had been a weird combination of things he remembered and things he forgot had ever happened, like Golly dropping pudding on Mrs. Zabini, something Draco was now sure had been orchestrated by his mother, Draco only realized he already lived that because he could remember his mother muttering “ _seductress_ ” when the other woman left and being appalled by the idea.

But once at Hogwarts he wouldn’t have to worry about that anymore, in front of his parents he had to put on the façade of the cheerful son so as not to worry them, but at Hogwarts, he would be able to spend his time alone, perhaps he would explore more of the Room of Requirement now that he didn’t have a mortal deadline on his shoulders.

“Be sure to write,” his mother said, her hands fidgeting as she debated fixing his hair or not, “Every day! And if you feel homesick, write even more!”

Draco smiled, “Of course, mother!” he wouldn’t have much to write about in his new plainer life, but his mother would not let him live in peace if she didn’t receive more than one letter a week.

Draco turned towards his father, even if he already heard it once, he still dreaded the conversation.

“You will do well in Hogwarts,” his father told him, eyes turning gelid “Despite your... _worries_ , I expect you to show everyone that you are the best, as a Malfoy.”

Draco nodded, a solemnity to that act even if his heart was completely different “I will, father.”

In truth, he still had no idea what to do about his grades, he knew all the concepts, the wand movements, potions, they were all things he’d already studied, but should he use that to his advantage? He would decide once the tests began.

Lucius smiled, Draco supposed it was pride but he knew how cold his eyes would be at the slightest disappointment, “Then go, Crabbe and Goyle should already be inside”

Draco forced himself not to grimace, he really didn’t want to meet them.

Pretending a smile he said, “I will go then, I’ll write after the sorting” and rushed onto the train.

Trying to remember where he’d sat the first time, so he could avoid there, Draco made his way as others said goodbye to their families at the windows. He should’ve known he wouldn’t be able to avoid meeting his previous friends but it was still too soon for him, even if he would have no choice sooner or later.

He could still feel the flame around him, fearing for his life as he tried desperately to climb over them, he had been so close to such a terrible death and he couldn’t even feel relief because death had been all around him then. Crabbe had died in the flames he couldn’t control and despite Crabbe’s desire to take his position, Draco felt only sadness, maybe at the end of his fifth year he could leave a note telling him not to use that spell.

“Draco!”

He sighed and turned, there they were.

“Crabbe, Goyle,” he acknowledged them, thinking about what to do next.

Fortunately, Pansy gave him a chance “We will be in compartment fifteen, will you come too?”

“I need to see something before, but go ahead” he refused them, planning on staying as far from there as he could.

The three stared at him unsure.

“Just go, you don’t need me to escort you, do you?” he brusquely told them before turning and continuing to walk.

He sat down in a compartment towards the end of the train, putting himself at a satisfying distance of the future Slytherins he barely heard another student entering, giving a brief look to the side Draco cursed himself.

How could he forget that had been Potter’s compartment.

He sighed, other compartments were full by now and he wouldn’t return to his former friends, might as well endure that travel for now.

Draco decided to just ignore the boy again, even if he couldn’t help a satisfied snicker when he heard Potter dropping the trunk on his foot for the second time. He didn’t have to wonder too long how Potter had managed the travel the first time around when the Weasley twins, he recognized their voices, appeared to help him followed by them fawning over him, making Draco roll his eyes.

They soon left, to Draco’s relief, and the boy sat in front of him but he was spared making conversation by Potter’s curiosity in the Weasley family, apparently, Potter found something interesting in the saga of Ronald Weasley lack of hygiene and the boring older brother’s ridicule.

He could have slept, but the voice of the youngest girl disturbed his approaching slumber, making Draco glare at her.

_“Oh, Mum, can I go on the train and see him, Mum, oh please. . . .”_

Draco would have to keep his eyes permanently behind his head if he kept rolling his eyes at the Weasleys obsession with the boy who lived. _Don’t worry, you’ll see him plenty, now let me sleep_ , he directed the thought towards the little girl that was now pouting at being refused to go and ogle Potter.

He glared harder when he realized he couldn’t sleep anymore, being left with no choice but to stare out of the window and at the girl trying to run alongside the train, laughing and crying.

_What a strange combination_ , he thought.

Potter seemed about to talk to him when they heard the door open, not that Draco needed to turn to know who was there, after all, when he arrived in that compartment the first time there were two boys.

_“Anyone sitting there? Everywhere else is full.”_

Draco continued to face the window even as the Weasel sat next to him, the opposite from Potter, ignoring both of them making their introduction.

_“Well — I remember a lot of green light, but nothing else.”_

Draco shuddered, he remembered that green light way too well and his hand went to hold his left arm, he no longer had a mark but he did it anyway, hoping the pressure would make him realize his arm wouldn’t start burning again.

The movement, however, caught Harry’s eye and he turned towards Draco.

“And you?”

Draco stared at him stupidly, he hadn’t expected to be spoken to.

“Your name? What’s your name?”

Draco frowned, hoping that would be it “Draco Malfoy”

He heard a snicker masked as a cough at his side and glared at Weasley, he quite liked his name thank you, but picking a fight with the weasel would not help him in the slightest, so he just looked back at the window.

Seeing as he didn’t seem to want to talk any further, the two turned back to their conversation.

Something, something that seemed to be the entire history of the Weasley family, something, something muggles were horrible and Draco couldn’t understand what Potter saw in them from what he was forced to listen, something, something, another Weasley way too loud exclamation, this time about Voldemort, Draco was tired already.

_“I bet I’m the worst in the class.”_

Draco scoffed “As if you could be”

“Exactly! You won’t be,” that was not what Draco meant but he let them believe what they wanted.

Draco thought that after Weasley’s saccharine encouragement and they finally quietened, he’d be able to sleep the rest of the journey, but the commotion for the trolley began and he was awoken once more.

Potter was at the door buying all the sweets Draco could remember being in his compartment, so he dared to look at his side, the smell of the lumpy package Weasley was holding was disgusting, so, in a desire to get rid of the damn thing, Draco reached into his pocket.

“That’s deplorable” he muttered, making Weasley go pink with embarrassment.

His mother had given him an Every Flavour Beans and some chocolate frogs before he left, somehow worried that there wouldn’t be his exact preference on the trolley.

“Here”

Draco gave him the Beans, still eyeing the sandwiches with disgust.

“What? No! I can’t--”

Draco rolled his eyes, stupid Weasley pride “Just pay me later if it bothers you so much”

With Weasley apparently appeased, Draco took a bite of his chocolate and looked out the window. Once Potter returned, he vaguely heard the two talking about the sweets, with Potter showing once again his lack of knowledge about the wizarding world, why did Dumbledore think it correct to leave an orphaned wizard in the care of muggles, Draco would never understand.

When they heard a knock Draco groaned, would they just continue being interrupted?

_“Sorry, but have you seen a toad at all?”_

That had to be Longbottom, Draco sighed.

“Compartment five,” he said, vaguely remembering kicking a toad around there as they made their way around the train that first time.

Or had it been Crabbe? Either way, a toad had been kicked.

Longbottom’s eyes widened and he ran towards where Draco told him.

_“Don’t know why he’s so bothered, if I’d brought a toad I’d lose it as quick as I could. Mind you, I brought Scabbers, so I can’t talk.”_

At least on that, they could agree, thought Draco, glaring at the rat and briefly wondering if he could find an excuse to kick the man that helped bring Voldemort back.

His musings were interrupted by the door opening again.

_“Has anyone seen a toad? Neville’s--”_

Granger was interrupted by Longbottom himself “No! It’s here, found it, thanks, err...”

Seeing as Draco just looked blankly at the two, Ron felt the need to answer instead “He’s Draco”

Longbottom smiled and left, but Granger didn’t seem to hear, looking at the wand instead.

_“Oh, are you doing magic? Let’s see it, then.”_

Giving up on his peace, Draco decided to just get it over with and watch whatever it was that Weasley was trying to do with that old wand, those never worked well, and couldn't help but snicker when it turned out to be even more stupid than he thought.

_“Are you sure that’s a real spell? Well, it’s not very good, is it?”_

That’s because it isn’t, Draco thought, satisfied at watching the little scene even if it was short-lived, as Granger went full know-it-all immediately after, he wondered why she talked so much and so fast, was she worried of being interrupted? He supposed it was a fair worry, he didn’t want to be in the conversation any longer.

“And you... you didn’t say your name” seemingly hearing his thoughts and going against them, Granger turned towards him.

“Draco Malfoy,” he said curtly.

Unfortunately, that seemed to make her talk even more “Oh, I know all about the Malfoy family, I’ve read a book about the lineages of the wizarding world, the Malfoys have been around for centuries, although it is speculated that they might have originated from France instead”

Draco was sure he didn’t need a history lesson on _his_ family.

“Of course, they are also famous for originating several...”

_Oh, so that shut her up?_ Draco raised his eyebrow, knowing what she was about to say.

_Originating several Dark Wizards._

He _knew_ his family after all.

“Famous for what?” Draco tried to make her talk but she changed the topic, not difficult with how fast she was speaking, now going on about school houses.

Thankfully, maybe because of the embarrassment, she finally left after a reminder for them to put on their robes.

_“Whatever House I’m in, I hope she’s not in it,”_

Draco thought he was in a unique position to see the irony of life. That was an unexpected plus.

_“..._ _I don’t suppose Ravenclaw would be too bad, but imagine if they put me in Slytherin.”_

Draco turned towards the two, pride rising and wishing to defend his house, because while he may not be the poster child for generally good person, Gryffindors had the tendency of never looking into themselves, almost as if they could do no wrong. The self-righteous bastards.

“What’s so wrong with being a Slytherin?!” he asked.

The two jumped, not expecting to hear him say that, or anything at all really.

Weasley had gone pink so Potter tried to make sense of the situation.

“Well,” he began, unsure “It’s the house that Vold-, I mean, You-Know-Who, was in, no?”

“And?” he asked brusquely, his rage rising “If every witch and wizard at Slytherin was a dark lord like Voldemort they would implode”

Weasley gasped and Draco rolled his eyes.

“Oh, please, the name is bloody stupid and so is the man!” Draco told them and would have continued.

If he hadn’t seen Crabbe and Goyle walking in front of the door.

“What are you doing?” Ron asked, one moment he had been lecturing them and the next he was on the floor, leaving them baffled.

“I’m trying to avoid someone,” he told them “Just continue talking with each other, will you”

They were confused but shrugged and accepted anyway, talking about quidditch instead.

Draco continued to do everything discretely, even changing into his robes on the floor to not being seen. As soon as they arrived he rushed out of the train, avoiding Crabbe and Goyle who had to change last minute because they didn’t realize they had to before.

He followed Hagrid and didn’t pay much attention to who entered the boat with him, from the lack of sagging on the boat he knew it couldn’t be the ones he was avoiding.

Despite Draco’s lack of interest in the parts of his life he’d already lived and felt no particular need to change, he had to admit.

Seeing Hogwarts from there, even a second time, was breathtaking.

He didn’t know he missed the castle, back when it radiated warmth and protection, like a home he hadn’t seen in years, he never thought he’d feel that way.

_“Welcome to Hogwarts”_

Draco heard McGonagall speech distractedly, having heard all of it before and already knowing where he’d end up, hearing about the great houses had no effect on him, did they scare the other students on purpose? That would almost be fun.

Her eyes scoured the students, many trying to fix themselves so that they would look better and make a good impression, Draco, instead, just shrugged.

_You’re never going to like me anyway._

After all, standing in opposition to Potter had only garnered Draco her distaste, couldn’t compete with her favourites from her own house, the only teacher that approved of him was Snape, the rest saw him as the terrible boy that hated their golden boy.

“And then the ghosts” he whispered.

The phantoms came and after some brief talk about the Houses, they went away once McGonagall returned to lead the students to the Sorting Hat.

He followed the others mechanically, going through the motions of his past life.

He saw the Great Hall and observed the ceiling.

He heard the hat’s song and waited for his name to be called.

He sat on the stool once his time arrived.

“SLYTHERIN!”

It announced after barely touching his head and Draco wondered what that said about him.

Were cunning and trickery all he’d ever be seen as? It shouldn’t make him feel bad and yet.

He supposed that this time, he wouldn’t be seen at all.

Draco arrived at the Slytherin table and was greeted enthusiastically by Crabbe and Goyle, having kept a seat for him but Draco blanched, he’d forgotten the banquet.

He found an empty seat somewhere further on the table, where he’d be alone, and rushed to find an excuse.

“AH! I think the Bloody Baron is going to sit here, so I’m going to sit over there!”

It wasn’t a total lie really.

Ignoring the two disappointed faces he rushed to the other side. It was cruel, but they didn’t need him and he didn’t need them, in his mind, it was better that way, going missing wouldn’t be nearly as easy with people besides his family searching for him.

He sat in his new spot, alone and unremarkable, his future for the next five years.

Sighing, he briefly looked at the other tables.

It seemed that Weasley had already been sorted as he was now seated beside Potter, not that surprising on its own, but what made Draco frown was that, once they noticed him staring, they... grinned and waved?

It was too strange so he just ignored it.

But what Draco couldn’t know was what was being said on the other table...

“Why are you waving at the Slytherins?” asked Fred to his brother.

“Because Draco ended there,” Ron explained, “He was the other boy in our compartment.”

“But he’s a Slytherin now,” George teased him.

“Draco isn’t so bad” Harry helped Ron, who nodded.

“Yeah, he’s just a bit shy,” Ron said, defending the blond boy.

...and how much his life had already changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, the train to Hogwarts aka the one where Draco stumbles into being adopted by the future trio XD  
> Hahahahaha, as you can see, he is still quite a little shit, but I just liked too much the idea of him being just the worst but being mistaken as kindness.  
> I originally had intended to imply that Draco didn't understand that McGonagall didn't like him for more than being against Harry, but then I remembered the Marauders, and boy, do the Marauders get more sympathy for doing pretty much the same stuff that Draco does.  
> So I changed it! (What's your opinion?)  
> (He still was a bully, but this is also his own belief about himself, it would be a bit biased no? ;D)  
> Draco doesn't actually call it the Room of Requirement, but I was too lazy to go look it up XD  
> Along those lines, I once read that in terms of grades Draco was only behind Hermione, and while Lucius has a line about Draco being beaten by her, I didn't really see that ever being stated as the case, is it said somewhere else and I just didn't know?


	6. Obey

Draco followed the prefect towards the dungeons, he already knew the way but it was expected of him so he just performed as he should, avoiding Crabbe and Goyle’s attempt at talking to him and Pansy trying to get his attention. Soon he’d be able to sleep.

He listened to the prefects talk about the dormitory and once they finished he was about to go to his room when a voice reached them.

“The rest of you continue but I need to talk with Malfoy”

In his previous life, it had been quite a surprise when it was announced that Harry Potter pardoned Severus Snape and even asked to keep the man’s portrait in the Headmaster’s office, Draco could remember Potter talking about the Potion Master to Voldemort, professing him to have been on the side of good the whole time.

Draco thought Potter was foolishly naive, Snape had been solely on his own side all along, like all Slytherins really, it just so happened that Dumbledore side aligned better with his purpose. The world wasn’t nearly as black and white as the boy who lived wanted to believe it as.

In a way, Snape and Draco stood on the same line of grey, Draco just didn’t know which side they were closer to.

“Yes, sir?” he asked, dreading whatever talk he was about to receive.

Snape stared at him, one more person looking at him from above, he couldn’t wait to grow up and never had people looking down at him, he hated that.

“Your father,” Snape began, watching him closely “Sent me a letter, detailing your... strange behaviour prior to arriving at Hogwarts”

“I’m sure he did” Draco muttered, surprising Snape who’d never heard the boy talk so venomously about his father.

Now he understood why Lucius thought that something was wrong with Draco “He asked me to keep an eye on you this year and ensure... your behaviour”

Draco looked the man in the eyes “You may tell him that he has nothing to worry, I won’t give shame to my name, sir”

Now, he could sleep.

Snape watched the boy leave, in many ways Draco had been the only child he’d always tolerated, maybe even liked, the boy had always shown great admiration for him, and Snape had liked to think of Draco as what he himself could’ve been if he'd been given the chance, he even encouraged the boy to choose potion-making whenever Lucius brought him around.

Instead, the child he talked to now was cold and distant, his eyes had no longer that childish glee that Snape found insufferable in other children, and it was clear he’d been avoiding his friends all day, Snape didn’t know why but the Draco right there was a stranger to him.

“Did you hear?”

“Yes, I saw the scar”

“It really is Harry Potter”

“And he will be staying here for the next seven years, go ogle him another day,” Draco said to the people blocking his path that morning, they scattered but he could still hear what they said.

“And who is he?”

“He’s the Malfoy boy, I think, a little jealous don’t you think”

“Hahaha, must hate not being the focus of attention”

Draco rolled his eyes, briefly considering if that would benefit his plan but there was nothing about it that seemed to be helpful, so he tried to ignore how much he hated being compared to saint Potter.

“Draco! Wait!”

That was not Crabbe and Goyle, he turned around and it looked as if Potter and Weasley had noticed him coming out of the crowd and were now running towards him. Unfortunately that confused Draco so much he forgot to run from the two.

Also... did they just call him Draco?

Frowning at the two panting boys in front of him, he waited for them to talk.

Harry recuperated first, smiling he said “Sorry, we are lost, what classes do you have?”

“We are going to get in trouble one of these days” Ron added, also smiling, why were they smiling, Draco thought it looked strange when directed at him.

Were they using him as a map? Why were they talking to him?

“There are so many people, thanks for helping with those before,” Harry said, his naive assumptions almost made Draco laugh.

“Gryffindor and Slytherins only have Potions together,” he explained coldly, wanting to get rid of them as soon as possible he indicated the opposite way of where he was going “You two should be in Charms, that way”

They beamed and Harry said “Thanks! See you in Potions” and they were gone.

Draco shook his head “I’d rather not”

Maybe he should tell them more clearly that he hated them, maybe that way they would leave him alone, he couldn’t understand why they even tried, he had been his usual snarky self what was there to be confused?

It wouldn’t last, they had their moral pedestal and he didn’t really care about playing nice.

The most he could do is pretend, and for the class he had that day, he’d have to _really_ pretend.

Quirrell welcomed everyone to class and Draco had to stop himself from running away.

The other students were excitedly entering the classroom, talking about what they would and would not do, about creatures they would learn about and spell they would use, he knew all of that would disappear as soon as they heard Quirrell talk, they would think the man as a weakling.

They had no idea of what they were actually looking at, what was being hidden from them.

Draco felt a hand on his shoulder and he almost lurched forward, but no one would understand, he had to pretend and keep his mind closed.

His occlumency shields up and a practiced poker face, Draco looked up at the man.

“Y-you’re-e Dr-Draco Ma-alfo-oy, right?” the man smiled, keeping his façade.

Draco put on a smile “Correct, sir!”

“Y-yes,” the voice was still laid-back, but Draco could feel the danger “I knew your father”

The façade fell for a moment and Draco wondered if it was a test, understand the son of the follower that didn’t run back for him.

“Better than me probably,” Draco answered, faking a pout, waiting for the answer.

“O-oh! We-ell He’s a busy-y man, no-w go ge-et you-ur se-seat” it seemed the monster was satisfied and let him go this time.

Draco went to his desk, he knew Crabbe sat next to him, he didn’t know what the boy said or what he would have answered because all his nerves were focused on that stupid turban and what it covered.

If any day would seem eternal, that would be it, the slow figuring out of what he had to do, trying to look like a normal boy, he had to be perfect even when he was seething. Writing when it seemed he had to write, nodding when it was appropriate, even looking bored was part of his illusion as he waited for it to be over for that day.

“An-nd tha-at will be a-all”

Draco forced himself to be calm and put away his stuff as normally as he could, to not attract the attention of the teacher, pretend he was blissfully unaware of the danger, he took one step at the time and focused on counting, preparing for the next step.

As soon as he was out of the door he allowed his body to run away, away from the class of Defense Against the Dark Arts. What a joke, more than once it would be the Dark Arts to hold that job, despots, frauds, and dark wizards, all of them taking their turn in that bloody classroom.

And he’d have to fake it every time.

He was a joke, always was, even his second chance seemed a cruel joke when he had to stand face to face with the Dark Lord and once again close his mind in fear.

But it was his only way of survival, what else could he do?

He was alone.

His family couldn’t protect him. His friends wanted to overthrow him.

All he could now was bide his time before running.

Just as he’d done in that classroom.

Calming himself he slowed down and walked towards his next class, repeating the plan in his mind.

_I won’t ever obey you again._

Draco promised to the man that called himself Voldemort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Duhn duhn duhnnn.  
> Here it is, Draco's first meeting with Quirrell! It's less fun than the other chapter, but we still get to see Draco unintentionally befriending Harry and Ron XD Next chapter we'll have more of them but for this one, it felt better to focus on this and some Snape ;3


	7. Distant Since the Beginning

“Draco, wait up!”

The blond sighed before turning around, hoping his coldness would drive the two boys away.

It still made his skin crawl to see them smiling so calmly at him.

“Ready for Potions?” Ron asked, walking on one side of him “They say Snape favours the Slytherins, so you’ll probably be better off than us”

Draco considered not answering but his experience so far told him they would continue talking anyway so he might try playing along and see if they’d finally stop.

“I’ve known Snape my whole life, of course I’m already ahead” he explained.

“Really? Is it normal for others too?” Harry asked, walking on his other side.

“Not really, Snape and my father are...” Draco paused, thinking of how to explain “I guess you could call them friends, I don’t think either of them would trust the other to watch their back, however.”

“That doesn’t sound like friends,” Ron said perplexed.

“It’s more than most of the people my father call friends can boast about,” Draco shrugged “He believes everyone is trying to take away his power, paranoid really”

“Do you think that too?” Harry asked, and because Draco wasn’t looking for it, he missed the note of concern in the question.

Draco hesitated, remembering Crabbe he answered “I’ve been burned before”

As Draco was watching ahead he missed the look Harry and Ron gave each other.

“That must mean you’re already good at potion making?” Ron asked, changing the subject.

“I won’t give you my notes,” Draco told him sharply.

Snape couldn’t believe his eyes when he entered the room, nor could he understand how it arrived there. Because next to Draco were Potter and a Weasley of all people, he had already noticed that he was avoiding his friends but to think that he’d be hanging around that kind of people.

Was he rebelling for something? Did he think that would bring Lucius' attention to him? If it was any of those he thought it was very poorly planned and any attention the boy would get from his father would be of the worst type.

Draco may be a child but that plan was just sloppy, there had to be something else at play, it was tempting to just invade his mind and find the answers there but he put that plan aside, he still had a class to teach.

_“Ah, yes,” Snape said softly, “Harry Potter. Our new — celebrity.”_

_“Potter!” said Snape suddenly._

Draco crossed his arms and waited for the humiliation to be over, there wasn’t anything particularly fun about watching Snape put Potter on the corner anymore, Draco already knew more than he cared about and less than it was useful, if his father had agreed to move at least he’d have new experiences.

There was some amusement in seeing Gryffindor losing points... if he didn’t already know that Dumbledore would hand the victory of the House Cup to them anyway.

Done with the last word Snape began to put them in pairs and Draco rushed to raise his hand.

“Yes, Malfoy?” the man looked at him and Draco instinctively put up his occlumency shield.

“May I work alone, sir?” he really hoped Snape wouldn’t try to rekindle his friendship with the Slytherins.

Snape almost smiled, although on his face it looked vaguely like a grimace, “You at least are not one of those usually empty-headed children, go on then” and continued with the rest of the students.

The man would check his progress throughout the lesson and would compliment his potion-making to all the class, making sure to show who were his favourites. Of course, Draco already knew he was doing the potion right, a combination of already having done that lesson and his own talents would easily carry him that year.

Draco finished his potion in silence, ignoring the ruckus caused by Longbottom failed potion and Weasley trying to prevent Potter from losing even more points, he put his things away hoping he’d be able to leave before the two boys decided to strike a conversation with him again.

Of all people, they were the ones he least wanted to get attention from.

_Said Ron, “Can I come and meet Hagrid with you?”_

“Sure” Harry answered, feeling slightly better about the terrible class with Snape “Hey, should we invite Draco? He’s always alone”

“Yeah, he definitely needs some friends” Ron grimace thinking back to what they’d spoken before “From what my dad told me it can’t be easy having a dad like his”

“Do you think he knows about that?” Harry asked, remembering what Ron had told him about Draco’s father being on the side of Voldemort.

“I don’t know, but you heard him on the train” Ron shrugged “He clearly hates You-Know-Who and I don’t think his dad would approve”

Harry nodded earnestly, while Draco seemed cold he always looked lost and unhappy, it was a look Harry knew well and if he could help the boy just as Ron did for him then he would.

“Let’s go, he left before us”

Draco had hoped for a calm break but the duo seemed to have targeted him that day.

“Hey, do you want to go visit Hagrid with us?” Harry asked happily, Draco had always thought he smiled too much but now it seemed unbearable.

“I already ate” he answered curtly, it was a lie really but he should’ve known they wouldn’t stop with such a weak one.

“Oh, come on, it’ll be fun!” Ron said before grabbing him, it surprised Draco so much he just followed as the two dragged him towards the half-giant’s cabin.

Draco wasn’t very pleased and grimaced looking around the single room house, in his child body it all seemed just too big but completely crowded to the point it felt overwhelming, he really hoped they wouldn’t stay too long.

“And this is Draco” Harry introduced him.

Draco just stared, if Weasley was recognizable by his hair, Draco was very similar to his father at his age and Hagrid had been working in the castle long enough to see that.

In fact, the man seemed surprised to see golden boy Harry being so friendly about him and for Harry, he’d be friendly too.

“Your mother was a good student in her days, you look a lot like her” Hagrid smiled at the boy.

Draco’s eyes widened, he was used to being compared to his father, it wasn’t always that people thought of Narcissa first or compared him to her and that mollified him slightly.

“Not really, she was just good at pretending” the other three laughed and Draco sat down in front of the tea, not sure how to act now.

So he listened to the chit-chat in mostly silence, looking at his tea and avoiding the rock cakes, he didn’t think he’d be able to lie about those, thankfully most of the conversation didn’t need him anyway. Until the conversation was about Severus Snape.

“Don’t worry yer head Harry, he hardly likes any of the students” Hagrid explained and Draco nodded along.

“Besides Draco” teased Ron, trying to take a bite of the rock cake to please Hagrid.

“If Potter continues to hang around me then he won’t like me for much longer” Draco shrugged.

“So he really hates me!” Harry exclaimed in dismay.

“Yeah, he--” Draco tried to say but, surprisingly, Hagrid interfered.

_“Rubbish!” said Hagrid. “Why should he?”_

Draco couldn’t understand why the half-giant would prevent him from talking, it was no secret that Snape had never liked James Potter no? He supposed not even the man himself had ever spoken about his hatred to Draco, thinking about it now, despite his attachment to the Potion’s Master, the man had always kept him away, even knowing what he knew now it was still hurtful realizing how distant he’d been from everything he thought he knew.

His father would fail him, Crabbe would betray him and Snape didn’t care.

Had he really lived the first time?

“Draco, before,” Harry said as they were going back to the castle “When we were talking about Snape, you tried to say something, no?”

Draco tried to recall what that was “About Snape hating you?”

“Yeah, it just felt as if Hagrid didn’t want for me to know something,” Harry said, still confused about Snape and the package from Gringotts.

“It’s not some guarded secret, there’s no reason for you not to know,” Draco said, not thinking about it too much, “Anyway, Snape hates you because he hated your father"

Harry looked at him surprised “What? Why?!”

Draco thought about it for a moment, searching for his memories from before "Love"

Ron smiled and joked "Why? Was he in love with Harry's dad?"

Draco couldn’t help but laugh, it was strange to imagine Snape in love with anyone, even less James Potter. The joke seemed to take Harry out of his worry too.

"I think they were in love with the same girl" Draco explained.

Harry smiled, that didn’t sound like Snape at all "Really? Who?"

Draco turned to look at the boy “Your mother”

Harry’s smile fell, in a way he should’ve realized but it never crossed his mind, and he felt the need to ask.

"Did he tell you that?"

"No...” Draco hesitated, his bleeding edges hurting him again “He didn't tell me _anything_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much yet I suppose XD but they are starting to bond, Draco is still deep into his trauma to really befriend them for now, but how do you think he will react? ;)
> 
> ooohhh, rant! I'm a Ravenclaw but sincerely it bothers me so much how Slytherin is supposed to just be interpreted as Evil. I mean, looking just at the text, even Snape's redemption (wrong character, should've been Draco, not just because I like the character, just as an analysis really, do you want hear it?) is dampened by the fact that we have Dumbledore saying that the sorting happened too young, implying that had he been sorted later he'd be a Gryffindor, and the fact that when they return to Hogwart there is no Slytherin banner just feels incomplete and wrong >:/


	8. I Want to Be Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The recommended song for this chapter is Downfall - BAUWZ ;)

_“Out there thinking that you're in the world alone_

_No one ever told you that you have to live for something_

_Or in the end, you will be nothing”_

It was strange to have normal conversations with Harry and Ron, at times Draco almost thought it would all change at any point, but the realization that if he didn’t oppose them then they had no reason to fight him was a difficult one to accept.

In the end, it wouldn’t matter, being close to Harry Potter was the same as being an enemy to Voldemort, and making enemies was a game Draco wasn’t willing to play, he didn’t even like the two, so how could that be a loss?

He would’ve already cut them out if they didn’t persist in talking to him, even getting him to talk a few times, like that day.

“Did you see? We’ll have Flying class together now” Harry asked enthusiastically.

“It’s just basics, not enough to be interesting” he explained, walking towards the great hall for breakfast.

“But it’s the first step towards being able to join the Quidditch team” Ron exclaimed, eyes shining as he imagined himself flying for Gryffindor.

Draco continued walking not paying attention to that, he couldn’t exactly tell the boy that he’d be an average keeper at best and he would gain much from doing so, besides, Draco wasn’t sure if wanted to return to the Quidditch team and he had hoped to keep that out of his mind for the time being.

“Do you fly a lot?” Harry asked, trying to understand how someone like Draco, born and raised in the wizarding world, viewed what to him was so new.

Draco glanced at him from the corner of his eyes and in the end, said “I used to”

“Not anymore?” the green-eyed boy asked again.

“When you just lose, even something you loved becomes bothersome,” he said, not offering much of an explanation.

The three arrived and when Draco was about to sit in his usual seat he was stopped by Ron.

“Hey, want to sit with us?” he asked smiling.

Draco looked at him in silence, but seeing as they had no intention of going away on their own he sighed and said “Slytherins don’t sit with Gryffindors”

The two boys watched him leave and resigned themselves for that morning, they would have another chance on Thursday, after all, it had started with the blond boy completely avoiding them to him talking, they would get through him one day.

When Draco arrived for flying lessons he noticed for the first time that his plans seemed to be finally working. He hadn’t put much thought to where he’d stand that day but when his fellow Slytherins arrived they didn’t try to talk to him or approach him in anyway, maybe a glance or two but nothing much. It felt... strangely empty, it was supposed to be what he wanted no?

On the other hand, Ron and Harry had reached him very quickly and had tried to talk to him but once Madam Hooch arrived they had no more chance.

Draco got his broom to obey him easily, he had done it multiple times already, and Madam Hooch had nothing but praises for his grip, which he had adjusted in the years after his lesson the first time, but none of it made him happy.

Quidditch loomed over him, he had been good but it hadn’t been enough, apparently, he couldn’t fight against natural talent and now, Draco was almost afraid that getting on that broom would just leave him empty, he hadn’t flown on his own since his first sixth year.

_WHAM — a thud and a nasty crack._

Draco hadn’t even realized Neville had already lost control of his broom, honestly, he had forgotten it even happened, he had focused more on Potter getting on the Gryffindor team at the time.

Vaguely aware of what he was doing, Draco walked toward where Neville had fallen, as he remembered, there, the grass, was the Remembrall. A devious thought filled his mind.

Harry and Ron had _hated_ him that day, they couldn’t stand him making fun of the weaker boy, so if he wanted to make them vanish all he needed to do was repeat that! They would quickly leave him alone and since no one would punish their golden boy too much, he had added the bonus of not attracting too much attention.

Smirking he picked up the nebulous ball, twisting it in his hand as it remained white.

After all, he remembered everything.

Harry peered over his shoulder, noticing what he was holding “We should go and give it back”

Draco turned towards the boy that in this time had never seen him sneer “What about we make a bet instead?”

“What?”

Draco took his broom, raising himself in the air he took a moment to appreciate the sensation.

Despite what he’d feared, he didn’t felt empty, in fact, for the first time, it felt right.

His plans were working, he was going to get rid of the fastidious boys and he could fly as normally as he could, his mind free for the first time in a long while.

“I said, we make a bet” he explained to Harry who was still on the ground “If you’re not too scared to get here”

_“No!” shouted Hermione Granger. “Madam Hooch told us not to move — you’ll get us all into trouble.”_

But her words didn’t matter, Harry kicked the ground and quickly reached him, as naturally as if he had been born to be on a broom.

“What now?” the boy asked, half intrigued half worried.

“Now,” Draco looked at the Remembrall reflecting the light before turning to Harry “You catch it”

And he threw the ball as far as he could for the first time in this life.

Stifling his laughter Draco returned to the ground.

He ignored the student's looks, as far as he was concerned it wasn’t that much of a problem, he’d just end up in the team anyway, if anything they could thank him, without Potter they would’ve never won against Slytherin. Even the arrival of McGonagall didn’t faze Draco, with his knowledge he could see the glint of interest in her eyes, because despite judging Slytherins for being self-serving, Gryffindors were just as willing to break the rules for their personal reasons, even when said reasons were as non-heroic as winning a game.

“Professor, they were --”

_“That’s enough, Mr. Weasley. Potter, follow me, now.”_

Watching Harry leave Draco could no longer hold in the laughter, he looked so miserable if he knew what the Professor actually planned he’d be leaving as a Gryffindor hero.

“You got him in trouble!” Ron exclaimed, looking at him in confusion bordering on disgust.

Draco rolled his eyes “As if, Potter is untouchable, they would not jeopardize their boy who lived”

Content with the look of horror on Ron’s face, Draco left him alone.

_It was dinnertime. Harry had just finished telling Ron what had happened when he’d left the grounds with Professor McGonagall._

_Ron was so amazed, so impressed, he just sat and gaped at Harry._

But his expression changed to guilt, as he remembered what happened after Harry left.

“Something’s wrong?” Harry asked, worried it might be about what a Seeker had to do.

“No, it’s just,” Ron shook his head, burying his head in his shoulders “After you left, I thought Draco had put you in trouble on purpose, he even said they wouldn’t punish you but I didn’t believe it”

Harry thought about it, he couldn’t understand what went in Draco’s head, the way he’d looked when he was speaking of the bet was almost cruel and yet it had no malice. Draco never seemed to be punishing him, and Harry wasn’t even sure the boy even realized that, if anything, it only strengthened in his mind that Draco was lost.

He wanted to push them away.

“After dinner, we’ll go talk to him,” Harry said now that he had decided on what to do.

“It’s not going to work”

Ron and Harry groaned, turning to look at Hermione Granger.

“Why not?” Ron asked, done with the conversation already.

“Because I heard Pansy Parkinson, a Slytherin that... it doesn’t matter” the girl quickly amended, looking downcast for a moment “I hear her talking with Crabbe and Goyle that they will corner Malfoy after dinner and you two don’t even know where the Slytherin dormitory is, you’ll just end up costing us house points”

“Good then that it's none of your business,” said Harry, and Ron backed him up, effectively ending the conversation.

“Draco!”

Recognizing Pansy’s voice Draco sped up, he wasn’t even halfway to the dungeons but if he was fast enough he could potentially avoid her, and if he was ever asked he could just pretend he hadn’t heard her. But it seemed that just as he had thought he was free from them at last, Crabbe and Goyle appeared in front of him, effectively blocking all his routes, they seemed to have planned for once.

“Can we talk?” the girl asked, her eyes shining as he knew she would, but he knew it meant nothing, Pansy had grown up hearing about the duty of a good marriage for a good pureblood girl. And her parents had never been shy about hinting that he was to be her best choice, it had always made him feel weird that they had viewed him like that, the Parkinsons would show up at his birthdays, on holidays parties and events, trying to shove them together.

If he didn’t know what he did now, it was probable that their scheming would have worked, at least he was actually friends with Pansy. But he did know that her love went just as far as his power in society went, if she cared for him personally beyond that it was harder to tell, but love it had never been.

Draco glanced at Crabbe and Goyle before saying “I don’t think I have a choice in the matter”

She giggled “We saw you today”

Goyle smiled, of the three he had been the easiest to deal with, he didn’t care enough for power but just about food, but that didn’t make him any less aligned with the ones Draco had decided to abandon.

“Yeah, we saw what you did to Potter” the boy explained.

“You’ve been weird since you arrived,” Crabbe said, a nasty smile on his face “But today you finally looked back to your normal self”

“We knew you had to be playing when you avoided us” Pansy laughed.

“Trying to get the blood traitors from the inside, right?” Crabbe followed her laughter.

“Now things are going back to how they used to be, no?” Goyle asked hopeful “You don’t have to pretend anymore, we can make fun of the mudbloods and Weasley together!”

Draco stared at them in stone-cold silence as they described the way he’d spent his previous life.

Something that had never brought him the happiness he had searched.

“I’m no longer that person” Draco explained, as it seemed, he’d have to be truthful to his former friends for once.

“What are you talking about?” Pansy asked, her laugh turning nervous.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” he said, in his voice no feelings betraying him.

Crabbe frowned, his expression turning nasty “Why? Are you turning into a blood traitor now?”

Draco sighed “You can believe whatever you want”

He was aware that’s how he’d be viewed by his peers, but at least he’d be safe.

“Draco, don’t do this!” Pansy tried to argue but Draco avoided her grip on his arm.

“I’m confused,” Goyle said, looking from Draco to Crabbe.

“He’s betraying us, that’s what happening!” Crabbe exclaimed in anger “Now that he gets to hang around Potter he doesn’t need us, are you not afraid of being overshadowed?!”

“Aren’t you?” Draco stared at the bigger boy.

“Enjoy being alone then!” Crabbe screamed at him then turned around and left towards the dormitory.

Pansy and Goyle hesitated but between the distant Draco and the present Crabbe, they followed Crabbe, leaving Draco to watch them leave.

They had never been friends.

Not really, as a dutiful son Draco had listened to his father when he was told to never trust even those closest to him, there had always been a distance between him and them, Crabbe and Goyle had been chosen as his bodyguards, they were bigger and taller than him, it made sense to use them and they had been all too happy to, in turn, listen to their fathers telling them to serve him. The Malfoy were powerful, they could not understand why it mattered yet, but Draco had been quick to establish himself as their focus, brain, and leader, which didn’t leave much room for friendship.

And yet...

Watching them leave, Draco thought back to the happier moments, of laughing with them in the common room, of laying on Pansy laugh and pretend, even just for the moment, that she actually loved him, and that he would always have that connection with the two people he spent most his time with. But that connection never existed and he was just trying to reach the echo in the nothingness because trying to fool himself was easier than letting go.

It was the loneliest he’d ever felt.

He didn’t want to go back to the dungeon just yet, he wanted to think, to breathe, to be left alone, so he turned around.

“What’s a blood traitor?”

Harry and Ron’s eyes widened as they were discovered and Draco seethed at having that moment being eavesdropped. He ran, as far as he could, as long as he was away from those three.

Three?

He had barely noticed, but in fact, Hermione Granger had been there with the other two, as if his humiliation wasn’t complete without every member of their trio being able to watch it unfold.

“Draco!”

“Draco, wait!”

“We just want to talk!”

“Draco!”

They were up several flights of stairs now and Draco was tired of their voices in his head, silence, he needed silence.

“Can’t you stop!” he screamed at them.

Ron tried to explain in a hurry “We just wanted to say sorry for today --”

Draco glared at him “It doesn’t matter! Can’t you understand?!”

“But--” Ron tried.

“Just leave me alone!” Draco let out all his anger “I never wanted you two to follow me around, can’t you understand!”

“I’m _not_ your friend! I was _never_ your friend! Because if you didn’t hear it clear enough before... I don’t have any friends!”

“But, Draco...” Harry said, eyes full of worry and forgiveness, nothing that Draco deserved “You’re crying”

Draco touched his cheek finding it wet, his eyes blurring full of tears.

He tried to pull up his shields but he couldn’t make it, he wanted to distance himself from everything that was happening but he couldn’t, he was in disarray, his stupid child body unable to contain him anymore, he just continued crying, no matter how much he tried to dry his face the tears just replaced the previous ones.

He had fallen again.

“Meow...”

“Oh no, it’s Mrs Norris, RUN!”

Maybe because he’d been so caught up in his feelings he didn’t even question the logic, if he had been more clear-headed he would think that being punished wouldn’t be that big of a problem, and later, when he was back in his bed, he’d wish he had been clear-headed.

He just followed the trio, the benefit of it all being that running didn’t leave him space to cry anymore.

They run until they found a closed door, opening it was almost too easy, Draco would later think, and when he turned around to wait for Filch to be gone, he wondered who hated him.

Someone had to hate him for him to end up _there_ no?

Because _there_ was no other place but the forbidden corridor on the third floor.

The three-headed dog standing in front of them was stirring, confused with their appearance but it wouldn’t last long, Draco blanched, how had his life changed enough to land him in front of a creature like that, it had never been his wish to die to an overgrown dog.

The increasing growls of the creatures alarmed the other three, their faces showing the same horror as Draco’s.

And then they were running away again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XD quite the abrupt transition from Draco's emotional hell to meeting fluffy, but it was the best I could think for the latter, hope it didn't ruin the former ;3  
> Uff, I wish I could always write chapters this long XD but hopefully, it just makes the rare ones better ;)


	9. Fighting a Troll?

After safely making it back to his room Draco decided to repress all memories of the three-headed dog, of his fight with the Slytherins, and most important of all; of the humiliation of crying in front of the trio. It had no reason to exist in his mind, he was perfectly fine on his own.

And perhaps, it was something the two Gryffindors had learned too because since that day they hadn’t spoken to Draco at all, leaving him free to enjoy his solitude.

Mostly, he’d go to the Quidditch field when he knew no one booked it and finish his homework, he would then look at the sky until he was bored or the next class began, he’d then eat in the Great Hall before returning to the dungeons to sleep...

He almost wished for the dog to eat him.

And to make matters worse, in the months since his arrival he’d discovered a most bothersome new fact about his life: while he might still be able to use occlumency it seemed his body would not allow him to perform most of the magic he’d gotten used to doing in the years of his previous life, leading to a very annoying Transfiguration class where he’d been unable to finish a simple spell.

Draco sighed, everything was wrong, he had nothing to do and he felt himself falling back into that nothingness from the days after the war, lonely and looking at a destroyed garden. Wasn’t his second life supposed to bring him happiness? Until he was able to leave England he’d never be happy, just stuck seeing others repeat the past while he stuck in the nothingness.

If things continued as they were, would he be able to feel anything once he left?

He decided to put away those melancholic thoughts and continue his way towards the Great Hall, where the first thing he noticed was the smell of the pumpkins.

“It’s already Halloween, huh?” he murmured to himself.

It was the night of the troll attack, it hadn’t been said in many words but once it was out that the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor had been hiding Voldemort, the whole year began to make sense and it was clear who had freed the troll.

He’d be fine, the Slytherins would be taken to their dormitories with the most caution as they also resided in the dungeons and it wouldn’t even be necessary as Potter would end up saving the day again. And now that the boy who lived wasn’t talking to him anymore, Draco wouldn’t have to worry about being thrown into his problems.

_“Troll — in the dungeons — thought you ought to know.”_

Draco observed as the uproar began, that would only be the first of many troubles that would befall the ancient school as it housed Potter, and so, to Draco, this wouldn’t count as even one of the scariest events in the years to come, even less one of the most dangerous. He’d just be escorted back to his room, eat and the next day they would discover Potter’s little adventure.

He calmly got up while the rest of the students barely cooperated with the Prefects to get back, having to be reassured that they would be able to get back safely and that if the troll had been near their dormitories Dumbledore would have warned them and located a safer place for them.

As he was in no rush he fell behind, looking at the other students he watched as some whispered in fear to each other, some were looking around scared the troll would burst out of the walls behind them and roar before killing them, and some were rushing towards the beginning of the line hoping that going back fast would protect them.

Draco also noticed Potter pulling Weasley aside, whispering rapidly about the troll he imagined, he was almost curious, the necessity to constantly save others had to be exhausting, no? But then again, Potter and Weasley were only eleven, they hadn’t experienced everything yet, and putting themselves at risk seemed the noblest option. Draco wondered if at some point it just became an obligation, if even heroes got tired.

He had no way of knowing how that felt.

Draco turned around to continue following the Slytherins when he felt someone pulling him away from the crowd, or rather, two people dragging him with them.

“What do you think you are doing?” he asked furiously.

“Hermione is in the girl's bathroom, she doesn’t know about the troll” Harry explained briefly.

“And that has anything to do with me because?...” he asked again, trying to reach his wand.

“Because you are our friend,” Harry said with a triumphant smile as if trying to get Draco to argue with that.

The blond frowned, so confused by why they would continue to care, it’s not like he had done anything to deserve it, in fact, he had done anything to avoid it, Draco was not used to people sticking around, the Slytherin left by his attitude but he knew that they would have left anyway once he lost everything, that was something he was familiar with, people stayed with those they had something to gain.

What did Potter and Weasley have to gain from befriending him?

If they knew the real him they wouldn’t be so quick to try, why did they care if he was alone, in a few years he’d be safer than any of them, the truth was that he just didn’t fit in with people like them, he wasn’t the type to help someone just because they couldn’t save themselves, so why then?

Why did he follow them?

_“Percy!” hissed Ron._

The three hid before noticing it was actually Snape, Draco briefly wondered what the Potion Master would think, looking at him apparently about to go help a mudblood, he’d probably laugh.

Snape would see the real him better than the Gryffindors, they were the same after all.

_“What’s he doing?” Harry whispered. “Why isn’t he down in the dungeons with the rest of the teachers?”_

The two looked at Draco.

“Just because I know Snape doesn’t mean I know why he does what he does” Draco rolled his eyes.

They continued their way when they, unfortunately, had their first look at the troll and Draco wanted to run from the stench but as the idea was to keep him away from the rest of the students he had to get closer, just close enough to close the door on the stupid monster.

But as he should’ve realized, things couldn’t be so simple.

Because Granger was now trapped in with the troll and apparently he was supposed to help the other two in rescuing her, he wanted to run away but when he _did_ move, it was with Potter and Weasley into the bathroom and much closer to the monster than he would’ve liked to ever be.

What choice did he have?

_“Confuse it!” Harry said desperately._

Draco pulled out his wand but none of his stronger magic wanted to work, it didn’t help that he wasn’t used to dealing with combat against creatures, he should probably pay more attention to Lupin this time around because he hated the helplessness of being unable to fight the troll.

“ _Incendio_ ” he screamed in desperation, the flames out of his wand wouldn’t even hurt a human, let alone something so big, but it seemed that it was enough to take the attention away from Harry.

And onto himself.

_Terrible idea!_ Draco thought, diving to avoid an attack, _Why did I do that?! It was ignoring me!!_

He turned around again when the troll realized it had missed and went to strike again.

Then Ron hit the monster with a pipe, turning the attention to him instead, and Draco tried to breathe again unable to even raise his arm in fright as Harry launched himself at the troll.

Eventually, Ron did manage to hit the monster with its own club but it didn’t stop Draco from feeling he was now surrounded by lunatics, who else in their right minds would fight a troll? And why was he one of them now?

Draco got up from the floor and joined the other three with trembling legs, having to observe the disgusting moment of Potter taking his wand from the troll’s nose.

The teachers burst into the room at that moment and Draco got to observe as Quirrell played the part of the helpless and scared teacher once again, it was done with such perfection that Draco almost applauded him, it was a part he played well, Draco took some pleasure in thinking that it fitted him.

But looking at McGonagall and seeing as she was tearing into her own students he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what the punishment for him would be.

_“Please, Professor McGonagall — they were looking for me.”_

Draco turned surprised at Hermione, he hadn’t expected for her to lie, not for him at least.

“Draco hit it with spells and Ron...” she continued her tale with no idea how strange it sounded to Draco, how had he changed things so much?

But at least one person was acting as he imagined, Snape was staring intensely at him, trying to figure out his motivation at helping both a Weasley and a mudblood on the same day, Draco wouldn’t be able to give him a satisfactory answer even if the man looked into his mind, not that he would allow it. His mind was his alone.

McGonagall awarded the two boys house points and let them leave, the Gryffindors taking one last look at Draco before running back to their dormitory.

“As Mister Malfoy is a Slytherin it is your choice Severus” the woman turned then to the Potion Master.

“Indeed,” Snape said, debating with himself whether to truly look into the boy’s mind or not, ultimately deciding to not risk it at that moment.

“Ten points will be given to Slytherin,” he said before telling him to leave.

As he left Draco couldn’t help but smirk, it was nice seeing that there was one person that was still the same. Because with the way he had left things with the trio it just made Draco confused, what was he supposed to think now? He hadn’t changed and his plan remained the same but he had never seen the other three as he had that day.

And when, the next day, Hermione now together with Ron and Harry went to him to thank him, Draco found himself agreeing to eat with them.

But he supposed... he didn’t need to be their friend, he could just observe the other side for a while.

Yeah, he could just pretend...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Draco:** *yawns* I would rate the troll in the dungeons a 2.5, come on Voldy, you can do better, try harder next time.
> 
> I kept thinking that maybe I was making Draco too heroic in this chapter, but then I remembered Goyle, we just don't see enough of Draco in certain circumstances to completely judge him but from what is there, clearly he isn't as heartless as he wants to believe ;)  
> I guess it could look a bit too soon but philosopher's stone is not particularly long and it didn't seem right to just drag it for the whole first book, so what do you think?


	10. Planning and Plotters

“I swear, between you and Hermione, I don’t know who’s worse” Ron complained after being refused once again of looking at Draco’s potion homework.

“You are supposed to learn on your own” Hermione said, pushing her book away again “You can’t just copy Draco’s”

On his corner, Draco was just smirking “Yeah, why would I allow anyone else the chance to be the best in potions?”

Harry laughed and pushed his parchment towards Hermione “But can you still check?”

“Sure” she answered and looked over his answers, correcting on the way, and Harry winked at Ron and Draco.

If Snape had been willing he’d have to admit that the time since the troll accident had been the happiest he had seen Draco that year, but he refused to accept that Draco of all people would actually befriend Potter, it went against all that he believed about the child.

Potter was arrogant, haughty, and conceited... like James Potter.

He drove away those thoughts from his mind, this wasn’t supposed to be about him, it should have been about Draco, the one he thought would understand him, Snape never had children so shouldn’t Draco have been the one to continue his path, shouldn’t that bad blood have continued in a child that could turn into someone better than him?

So why being their friend was the first time he saw Draco smile at Hogwarts?

He limped towards the four of them, scanning as the first three jumped, looking guilty and worried, he was temped to enquire further but it was once more Draco that caught his eye, the boy didn’t look guilty, instead, he looked rather entertained and when their eyes met the boy seemed almost back to his old self, he wasn’t looking like the distant and cold child at the beginning of the year anymore.

“I need to have a word with Malfoy,” he said ultimately, observing the other three giving Draco a worried glance that the boy just responded by smirking.

Draco followed him towards the dungeons not saying anything, not even to question why he’d been called.

“You are quite calm,” Snape said, paying attention to the child’s expressions.

Draco shrugged “What do I have to fear at the moment”

“Spending time with the Gryffindors is turning you foolish now, Draco?” he questioned the boy.

“I wouldn’t dare” Draco sneered “I just know better”

Snape rolled his eyes “Than me?”

“Than them” Draco explained, looking the teacher in the eyes “You have them quite scared”

“But not,” Snape said “you”

Draco smirked but said nothing more to the Potion Master.

Snape closed the door to his office, turning to look at the blond, trying to understand that child he used to know.

“It’s your new friendships that I want to talk to you about,” Snape said.

“There isn’t much to talk about” Draco explained “We are not friends, I just find entertaining to watch what they come up with”

Snape raised his eyebrow “What are you planning, Draco?”

“Surprisingly, nothing” Draco smiled but Snape didn’t trust it.

“Don’t lie to me, Draco” he said “That’s not you and we both know”

“True enough, but I have no intention of making myself a spectacle” Draco looked away and Snape had the impression that there was something he was hiding.

“So you’ll just hang around a Weasley, a muggle-born and Potter?” Snape asked, unable to get enough eye contact to see what the child truly planned.

“For as long as it is convenient,” Draco said, crossing his arms “Yes”

Snape sat at his desk, thinking of what he could ask that could show him why Draco had changed but couldn’t think of anything that was efficient enough and he needed rest anyway, so it was better if he just sent the child away.

“The bleeding is showing,” Draco said, looking at his leg and how even the dark fabric didn’t stop it from showing through.

Snape muttered a curse, he looked at the child and considered his options, then said “Draco, hand me the bandages on that counter”

He trusted Draco to keep his mouth shut when told to, and not having other children's obnoxious nature made it easier for him to allow Draco to help him.

“That’s not a normal wound,” Draco said and raised an eyebrow.

“And it’s not for you to worry about” he rebuked, taking the bandages from the blond’s hands.

Draco laughed “There are not many strange creatures running amok in the castle to be confused about”

“How do you...?” Snape was about to question when he saw something from the corner of his eyes.

_“POTTER!”_

“I just wondered if Draco could go back”

“ _GET OUT!_ BOTH OF YOU!”

Draco laughed as he followed the running Harry upstairs, clearly, the trio had worried the Potion Master was torturing him or something and Harry had decided to “save” him, with obvious conclusions, it was annoying he hadn’t been able to get out of Snape what he’d been doing but seeing the man so angry made up for it.

There were many interesting things to be found on the other side of history.

He saw the other two waiting at the top of the stairs and smirked.

“So, everything fine?” Ron asked, looking from Harry’s worried expression to Draco’s amused one.

“Would’ve died without Harry’s daring rescue” Draco joked, joining Ron and Hermione on the last step.

Harry instead decided to inform the other two of what he overheard and Draco’s eyes widened the more the other boy explained his theory about Snape and his purpose on the third floor, and burst out laughing as Harry finished, receiving a glare.

“You said it yourself! Snape’s wound wasn’t normal” Harry protested “You saw it!”

“Doesn’t mean Snape is secretly plotting to steal what the dog is guarding” Draco knew that only one person was actually behind that “He’s no saint but he is surprisingly loyal to Dumbledore”

“Yes, Harry, I just can’t think he’d do this,” Hermione said “I mean, he’s not very nice, but he’s still one of the teachers, Dumbledore would know, no?”

Draco thought it better to leave to himself his opinion on Dumbledore’s methods.

Ron instead agreed with Harry, they debated for a while on the possibilities but Draco knew he’d have no chance of talking about Quirrell without sounding insane so he amused himself by introducing more and more outlandish theories into the conversation and at some point it just turned into their game, each trying to come up with the craziest possibility and laughing at each other.

Draco followed Ron and Hermione on the Quidditch stand, dressed in silver and green in the middle of the other Gryffindors.

“Really?” asked Ron with a raised eyebrow.

“I still have my house pride,” Draco said laughing, it’s not like he didn’t know that Harry was going to win anyway.

“Could’ve fooled us” snarled Pansy as she passed by with Crabbe and Goyle, glaring at the blond.

“Ignore them Draco,” Hermione said, glaring back at the group “They just want to feel superior”

Draco watched their back as the three joined the rest of the Slytherin.

“I can’t blame them” _I am just like them_.

He smiled at Ron and Hermione “Want to make a bet?”

“No! I don’t like your bets!” Ron protested.

“Just because you owe me ten galleons” Draco smirked, he wasn’t going to demand the money back, he had more than enough, but he had fun watching Ron despair.

Hermione rolled her eyes “Then you shouldn’t bet money, Ron”

“Then it’s not as fun” Ron smiled before adding with a grimace “But let’s bet chocolate frogs next time”

“Deal,” that was something he didn’t mind taking his ill-gained prize.

The three stood with the other Gryffindors and cheered when the team entered the field, watching and screaming as they played, with Draco occasionally screaming for Slytherin, Ron would push him and the two would laugh. It was quite a different game for Draco as Hagrid joined and Thomas spoke of muggle games rules.

It was then that it started, Draco watched as Harry lost control of the broom, a quick glance at the teachers stands told him everything he already knew, he saw as Quirrell muttered rapidly without taking his eyes off Harry, but the others wouldn’t be as easily convinced, Snape just had the look of someone plotting something.

_“I knew it,” Hermione gasped, “Snape — look.”_

Draco raised an eyebrow in amusement, he wouldn’t be able to change their mind, would he?

_“Leave it to me.”_

“Knock out Quirrell for me while you’re at it!” Draco told the quickly disappearing Hermione.

She hadn’t heard but he laughed as she nonetheless ended up distracting Quirrell in her mission to distract Snape and no one besides Draco realized that the jinx had stopped before she even reached the Potion Master.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, Astrology is a pseudoscience, but I gotta say, Harry Potter is exactly what I'd expect a leo to write.
> 
> Hahahaha, those kinds of things aside, yeah, Snape is projecting haaaard, I dunno I just like the idea that had Draco been given his redemption arc it would have sort of been like showing what they said about James and how he actually changed and became a better person, and I also like the idea of Snape trying to live vicariously through Draco (ya know, whereas he was bullied, Draco was the bully, etc) and it's only when Draco does what Snape was incapable of doing, changing, does he actually get what Snape had wanted, love.  
> *sigh*  
> Also, Draco hasn't yet figured out that hanging around people because you enjoy spending time with them is the definition of friendship XD
> 
> p.s: not gonna lie guys, I kinda find the quidditch parts to be incredibly boring, I suppose it's like reading what happened in a football game, it's just not nearly as fun as watching


	11. Lies

“So you’re not going home for Christmas?” Harry asked in potions, trying to not miss any ingredient as he talked with the blond.

Draco shrugged, if went back home he’d have to pretend to not know anything in front of his parents and he didn’t feel like it “My mother cried about it but I’d rather stay”

“Great, you can stay with us then,” Ron said from the other side “We’ll show you our common room”

Draco muffled a laugh but Hermione retorted “I don’t think it’s allowed”

“Because Draco always follows the rules” Ron joked and Draco couldn’t disguise his laughter this time.

“Five points from Gryffindor for distracting other students, Weasley,” Snape said, appearing behind them.

Ron fumed but didn’t say anything more, it would just make things worse, but once they were out of the classroom he was allowed to express his anger “Just because Harry’s mum didn’t give him the time of the day, does he really have to use it against us?!”

Draco laughed, it was something they weren’t supposed to know he was rather having fun listening to their ramblings about Snape, he was sure the teacher would turn all shades of red and purple before giving them detention for eternity should he ever hear it.

“Do you think he wonders why mum didn’t like him?” Harry joked, giving the other three the mental image of Snape alone in his flannel pajamas asking a teddy bear why Lily Potter hadn’t chosen him.

On their way upstairs, the four met with Hagrid and their talk soon entered the name Nicolas Flamel and Draco smirked, he had considered telling the others what he knew about the man but he didn’t want to make things that easy, besides, Dumbledore wouldn’t allow them to be killed in their first year. So he spent the time in the library browsing random books he thought could be entertaining while they searched for the elusive Flamel in the wrong place.

On Christmas Eve, Harry and Ron sneaked Draco into the Gryffindor Common Room, the blond had heard of people that would sneak their friends into different dormitories but this was the first time Draco had ever seen a different dormitory, and to think it would be the lions’, how ironic.

“And this is our Common Room, what’d think?” Ron asked excited, trying to gauge the other boy's reaction.

“Well you did just let a snake in the lion’s den, aren’t you worried?” Draco responded, wanting to see if they’d turn away but the two laughed and the blond couldn’t help but feel pleased.

“Cosier than being in the dungeons, huh?” Ron joked and Harry sat on one of the armchairs near the fire.

“Is this the first time a Slytherin has been in Gryffindor tower?” he asked looking at Ron and Draco, the latter still looking around the room.

“It’s possible,” Draco answered, analysing the difference of portraits of the two houses “The house hatred has lasted generations, careful Ron, they’re going to start calling you a house traitor now too”

Ron shook his head but laughed, clearly not bothered by the joke, Harry instead looked at the two confused and once Draco sat down on the sofa, the child’s body not able to fill the entire space, the green-eyed boy decided to finally ask.

“Crabbe, I think, called you and Ron blood traitors, what’s that?” he asked hesitantly, hoping it wouldn’t bother the other two but they just shrugged.

“It’s a stupid thing some pureblood families,” Ron explained, disgustedly emphasizing the last words, “say about other purebloods that aren’t what they want, you know, gits”

“Our world is full of fun things like that,” Draco joked, smirking at the astonished Harry “Welcome Potter, to mental games and petty name-calling, it’s lovely”

The three shared a laugh but Draco felt detached even as he did so, he knew that world too well, had been part of it his whole life, was he ashamed now? He wasn’t sure where he fits anymore but he didn’t want to go back to the complete numbness from before by telling the former trio who he’d been.

He truly was just a snake in the lions’ den.

Draco had slept on one of the free Gryffindor beds and had expected his presents to be in his bedroom but when he woke up he found the pile, bigger than Ron’s and Harry’s, at the foot of the bed.

“Someone knows I’m here” he mused without thinking too much about it, going instead to open the presents, most of which he already knew what they were, some of which he hadn’t remembered, and some of which was actually a surprise.

He said his merry Christmas and peered curios to the other two, Ron seemed happy but Draco thought the boy was avoiding looking at his pile and trying to focus on the candy he’d received, Harry instead wasn’t interested in Draco’s presents, being completely absorbed in his own, looking the happiest Draco had seen the boy yet.

Having observed enough he turned back to his own presents and focused on the two he’d never seen before. One was from Hermione, when holidays started he’d almost forgotten she didn’t hate him in his new life, the present was a box of Fizzing Whizzbees and Sugar Quills which he took one and munched on it.

He peered over Ron’s shoulder to look at the money Harry had received but it was strange and he didn’t like it, besides from what Harry said it wasn’t worth much, he couldn’t understand why someone would send money if it had no utility, so he turned back to his own presents.

The second one was lumpier and he couldn’t imagine who’d send such a gift to him, from any angle, looking at it, it just wasn’t something he’d expect from anyone he knew.

_“I think I know who that one’s from,” said Ron._

The word “Weasley sweater” was never something Draco ever imagined would be associated with him but when he opened the package that was exactly what it was.

He frowned at the gaudy yellow sweater with a metallic silvery M knitted in the middle, Draco supposed it was softer than he had thought it would be, it had always seemed very coarse from afar, but it would clash horribly with his pale skin and platinum hair. Harry seemed pleased with his but he discretely agreed with Ron’s tone of voice as he spoke of the colours chosen.

It was, however, quite different from the gifts he usually received, even if something was handmade it had always been purchased from someone else, it was the first time someone gave him something they made without the promise of money at the end, perhaps he could just stick it to the bottom of his trunk rather than burning it.

Draco was still contemplating when the swishing and silver glimmer of Harry’s last gift caught his eyes, Draco looked astonished as Harry put on the cloak, disappearing almost completely, he wondered who’d ever send such a gift, when he remembered.

“Well, that explains a lot,” he said distractedly, thinking back to his previous life and how he would’ve loved to know about it then.

“Explains what?” Harry asked, after reading the note the boy seemed rattled but if he hadn’t shared with Ron then Draco knew it wasn’t something Harry wanted to be known, at least for now anyway.

So he just shrugged “Nothing”

_“Merry Christmas!”_

The twins barged in and analysed Harry’s and Draco’s sweaters.

“M for Malfoy?” Fred chuckled, showing the letter to George.

“Maybe she’s afraid you had forgotten your surname after leaving home” George joked handing the sweater back to Draco.

“She wouldn’t be the first to imply it,” Draco said thinking back to the Slytherins and the twins laughed.

“Wear it!” Fred recommended “Dad would love to know we got a Malfoy to wear a Weasley sweater”

Draco smirked, it was indeed tempting if only for the irony.

He couldn’t lie that he’d spent a great Christmas, of course, Draco knew he’d have to read several worried letters from his mother about spending time at home and how she wasn’t ready to let her baby go yet, that he was still so young, and so on and so forth, but at the moment it was indeed a Christmas different from any he’d ever had. When the three returned to the Gryffindor dormitory, Draco had nothing to complain and when he fell asleep his dreams were peaceful and full of laughter.

When he woke up in the morning, however, Harry seemed very different.

The other boy was smiling but his eyes never seemed quite focused, he was distant and the talk of a mirror that showed his parents didn’t sound like a good thing for Draco, having grown up around dark objects he knew all too well the dangers of magical items that seemed too good to be true, and those that surrounded death were the worst of the bunch.

But he kept his worries to himself, Harry didn’t seem like he was paying attention anyway.

When they went out that night Draco tried to persuade them to go back, it was cold anyway and he wasn’t in the mood to deal with Filch or Snape, but Harry still had that far away tone and Ron was curious, although he almost gave up a few times.

They found the room nevertheless and Draco tried to look from afar, not trusting the object, but clearly, Harry was dissatisfied with whatever Ron had seen, he hadn’t paid attention, because Draco found himself pushed in front of the mirror more forcibly than he thought Harry was capable of.

And the image that looked back at him made him tear up as much as he wanted to destroy it.

“Do you see your family?” Harry asked slowly, hoping that maybe Draco would understand what he had seen.

Draco reached for the image and it was reflected back at him, realizing what had changed Harry.

Desire. Yearning. Frustration. And then desperation.

Whatever that mirror was, Draco hated it, because what he saw was so familiar and yet nothing he had ever known, maybe for once the truth wanted to destroy him, he hated it so much but couldn’t look away.

“Yes” he answered curtly but Harry didn’t notice it, or didn’t care, Harry just beamed, hoping that meant he understood.

“And they are smiling at you? Is it your whole family or just your parents? I want to see mine again! Draco can you leave, Draco!”

But the blond didn’t budge and Harry pushed him away, Ron stared in astonishment as Draco didn’t respond to that, just staring at the ground in silence, and he was about to protest when they all heard a noise and quickly returned to the dormitory.

Draco felt strangely empty that morning and Harry was even worse than he was, nothing they had done had been enough to get him back from the shadow of the mirror.

Ron returned dejected and Draco raised an eyebrow “Nothing again?”

The red-hair sighed and shook his head “I’m worried, I think he’s in danger or something”

Draco silently agreed, after staring at the mirror himself he wondered what exactly it was, it wasn’t explicitly malicious as dark objects often were, but he doubted whoever created had the best intentions.

“Want to try?” Ron asked, maybe Draco would be able to connect better, after all, he wasn’t quite himself either.

Draco looked intensely at him and Ron almost took it back but the blond walked away towards Harry without saying anything.

“Harry” he called the other boy, but Harry didn’t look back.

“Whatever it is... no, thanks”

Draco, however, sat down next to Harry, completely silent, the faraway gaze of the blond almost made Harry ask what he had seen in the mirror, ask if he understood.

“Draco...”

“Why?”

The question confused Harry, was Draco asking him about the mirror?

The blond sighed and tried to word it better “Why didn’t you just leave me alone? It’s not like I was trying to befriend you two”

Harry still looked confused “Because you didn’t look like you _wanted_ to be alone”

“Would have been easier for you” Draco replied.

Draco saw as Harry dug his fingers into his clothes, almost vibrating with the need to see the mirror, and yet the other boy still forced himself to continue the conversation. Draco frowned, something not that different from anger simmering inside.

“Because you looked lost,” Harry explained, looking at him directly now “For all you said and did, you were lonely, and... I knew how it is to feel that way”

Draco clenched his fists and tried to show who he truly to the other boy "Even if who I was before, was much different?"

Harry gave him a tired smile "You said it yourself, you are no longer that person"

Silver eyes widened as he heard that, not sure how to react he stood up rapidly, the anger inside, however, had not left him, he just wasn’t sure at whom it was directed anymore.

“Then listen when I tell you not to go back,” he said, standing and turning away from Harry.

“Not you too!” Harry protested, if he wasn’t going to listen to Ron, he wouldn’t listen to Draco either.

“I’m just telling as I know it,” Draco said, refusing to look at the other boy “Images in mirrors are just different kinds of lies”

“What makes you said that?” Harry argued, irritated with the blond.

“Because the one in the mirror wasn’t me” and finally, he walked away, away from Harry but also from Ron, from anyone he knew, to somewhere he could be alone.

The shadow of the mirror’s lie trying to reach and pulling him back but Draco knew better.

He was no hero, he wasn’t the type to keep people happy and safe. And alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this chapter!... Really hope the HBO hp series isn't a reboot, after Winx I don't think I can stomach something more...
> 
> A few days ago I received a review on an old fanfic I wrote when I was 12 (almost ten years ago holy shit) to be more specific it was a fanfic I had translated when I was fifteen, anyway in one of the chapters I said (I didn't even remember saying it XD) that a movie was sucky (specifically Naruto the Last, for taking 40 minutes for anything interesting to happen and the terrible message that a girl can't change her feelings for a guy, despite the fact that said guy tried to kill her thrice) and the person commenting really thought it was smart to say I was not entitled to an opinion on a movie since 12 years old me was not able to match the writing of a man double her age and his team (feel the sarcarsm) not to mention they called me a hypocrite despite not having the guts to do the virtual equivalent of telling it to my face and login in (If you're going to insult someone at least own it)  
> I know my writing is not spectacular (especially one written ten years ago, but I have fun and that's the most important) but this was just dumb XD (Sorry, just had to share that, it was just too hilarious)


	12. The Image of the Mirror

Occlumency, despite having needed to learn it in an extreme situation, had been very helpful with dealing with stress, to close himself off from anything exterior and just calm his confused mind, the image in the mirror had brought back an anxious feeling he thought he’d gotten rid of and it reminded him of the path that lead to his life as he knew it crumbling, and even the nightmares he hadn’t seen since returning to the past had shown up again.

Draco tried to hide the instinctual flinching he had when Harry told them about his nightmares, the green light and the voice the other boy described were just too close to what he knew, and to his own nightmares, hoping it would seem he was just shaking away the cold.

He could hide, Myrtle’s bathroom could be surprisingly comforting, but Harry had been right, he didn’t want to be alone, never liked it really, Malfoy Manor had been almost oppressive in its enormous size and when his parents left for some event or the other, he’d have to stay there and deal with the too-high walls and too long corridors with no one else besides old paintings that followed his every movement. In a way, being around the Gryffindors had its benefits.

_“_ _I’ve found Flamel! I told you I’d read the name somewhere before,” Harry whispered._

Draco observed as they finally pieced together the story of Flamel, content not to reveal that he’d known all along, as much as their faces would be quite entertaining. Alchemy had always been a fascinating topic for him and Flamel had contributed to it the most, it was a shame he wouldn’t get to meet the man after that year.

_It also produces the Elixir of Life, which will make the drinker immortal._

That phrase was terrifying, to think about the stone ever ending up in Voldemort’s hands, even if they were suspecting the wrong man, he could understand why they were so dedicated to making sure it never happened.

The day of the Quidditch game had arrived and Harry was a bundle of nerves, it was almost amusing how bad the boy was at masking it but unfortunately for the boy, Draco had no intention of explaining how he knew the game wouldn’t even last long enough to be fun, at least he wouldn’t end up with a black eye this time around. He sat together with Ron and Hermione again, laughing as they were completely fixated on the game.

Perhaps life had a way of knowing when you needed something to shake it a little.

It was a little paper butterfly, it flew around Draco’s head before landing on his hand, he looked at the other two but they saw nothing, probably wouldn’t even notice if he said anything, so he opened the paper, it was a message from Pansy.

_Draco,_

_Can you meet me now? I need to talk to you, just the two of us please, we’re friends, no?_

The blond smirked, whatever she was planning, the trap was incredibly obvious, Pansy could be really that sloppy in her plans? Good thing she was never involved in anything of Death Eaters.

There was however some amusement to be seen in what the Slytherins would do without him, they had always done what he planned and he’d never considered what they would come up with.

He glanced at Ron and Hermione but they were still focused on the game so he silently left his seat, he bumped on Longbottom on the way out but otherwise, no one noticed him going away, that could’ve been a smart move for someone trying to harm him but it was too situational to congratulate the three.

Draco walked the way towards the forest where Pansy waited, and to her credit, she acted the part of the glad and worried friend well but he wasn’t a fool and they weren’t particularly good enough to match.

“You wanted to talk, huh?” he asked, unimpressed.

She smiled in fake gentleness “Well, yes, you’ve been distant and started to hang around blood traitors and mudbloods, I would’ve talked with you sooner but I had to play my part in front of Vince and Greg, you know how it is”

“Yes, I know how it is” Draco laughed, Gregory’s wand peeking from the tree behind her.

_“The game’s over! Harry’s won! We’ve won! Gryffindor is in the lead!” shrieked Hermione._

“Yes! We’ve won!” Ron exclaimed jumping on the stands in happiness and relief, grabbed the person next to him that he believed to be Draco so that he could shake him in his enthusiasm “Hey, Draco! Did you see! Gryffindor is above Slytherin now! Drac--”

Neville looked at him confused, having been just shaken for no reason, and Ron looked back the same way as he was sure that Draco had been in the spot next to him when they sat down.

“Neville, since when are you here?” he asked, noticing now that the Slytherin wasn’t anywhere really.

“Huh, if you’re looking for Draco” Neville explained rapidly “He rushed out a moment ago, I think he received a message,” before anxiously adding “At least, I think I saw him reading something, I could be wrong”

Ron looked around, it could’ve been hard seeing as there was basically the whole school at the game but as he already had a suspicion it was easier to narrow down the search, and what he found was that Draco wasn’t the only one missing.

The red-haired boy sighed and turned to the other Gryffindor “You can be more confident in what you say, Neville”

“What, why?” he asked but Ron had already turned around towards Hermione.

“Hey, I think the evil trio has tricked Draco, can you wait for Harry and tell him?” he rushed to say to the surprised girl that had been commemorating the victory and thinking that had meant nothing bad had happened.

But thankfully Hermione was a fast thinker, realizing what he meant she turned serious “Yes! Go! When Harry is out we’ll find you two”

Ron nodded gratefully and rushed away from the pitch.

He had worried that they might have been somewhere difficult to find or hard to get in, maybe near or inside the Slytherin dormitory that they had never seen and would take running around the dungeons to find, not to mention that if they were inside the dormitory then he’d have no idea of what was the password. But it turned out to be much easier than he had expected.

And different from what he had worried.

“...What?” he asked, trying to hold in his laughter but some chuckles got out.

The actual situation he found the blond in was the three Slytherins hopping around with Pansy trying to get away from Draco while Crabbe and Goyle tried to grab his wand back from him, being easily sidestepped by the one not affected by the Leg-Locker Curse.

“Already here? It was faster than I remembered it” Draco said, throwing the wands away so that the two boys would have to hop to get them.

Ron didn’t stop himself from laughing at them, just enjoying their angry frowns although when he looked at Draco, his expression when looking at the Slytherin was more akin to remorse and quickly masked sadness. And it wasn’t the first time he’d noticed the blond looking slightly miserable near those three.

“What happened?” he put on a smile to distract Draco from whatever had caused that expression in him “Before I think they were going to hurt you and then I just found you messing with them instead”

Draco smiled back, glad for the distraction “They had tried to attack me, sent a message of peace and all, they didn’t think how easy it was to see it was a trap”

“Not very creative are they?” Ron joked as they began to walk back.

“You wouldn't be able to find a drop of creativity if you wrung it out from all three at the same time” he joked and Ron laughed louder.

“Why were you even friends with those three?” Ron made the mistake of asking despite trying to get Draco away from those thoughts.

“They were good henchmen” he answered, remembering his past life, “I thought that was what I wanted”

Ron bit his lip, recognizing the look in Draco’s eyes being the same as the one Harry had about the mirror, struggling that he couldn’t understand why it had affected the two so much, he was really worried that without understanding he just couldn’t help.

“What you wanted like in the mirror?” he asked.

Draco stopped dead in his tracks.

The same bitter feeling of when he remembered the mirror, closing his eyes and focusing on his breathing he pictured that day, and what he felt looking at the lie.

What hurt the most was that it was him, the older him, the true him that had failed from the moment that he’d stepped on that train. The one that didn’t belong anywhere anymore.

He opened his eyes, meeting Ron’s blue eyes.

"Draco, what did you see?" the other boy asked again.

He struggled to say anything, but once he started it felt as if he couldn’t stop "I saw everything I once wanted to be, I was the centre of attention, I wanted to be someone people would admire, someone powerful” the harsh edge in his voice as he despised himself “The blasted chosen one even” Draco basically spit the words “The type that wouldn't feel like a prisoner in his own house, someone my parents would be proud"

The image showing his parents smiling as if he’d just done some great deed compared to the reality of the fear looks they would share with each other every time he had to be part of Death Eaters. The friends he saw dying, smiling gratefully as if he had been a better, more capable person.

"But I learned long ago that I would never be able to become that"

Ron understood better now, saw more than he had ever thought Draco would allow him to see, so he smiled and tried to comfort his friend "Who's to say? We've got our whole life to live!"

Draco stared at him in surprise, had Ron Weasley always been this positive? Even in his new life, he hadn’t known the boy for long enough to truly know him and his image of the boy before had been forged from years of rivalry.

And yet, in their simplicities, the words were more comforting than Ron even realized.

He had a second chance, he still had his whole life yet to live, even if it wasn’t what he had expected it to be.

"Weasley!”

"Yeah?"

Draco smiled in true gratitude to a Ron that had no idea.

"Thank you"

The two made their way back, meeting with Harry and Hermione in the middle.

_“You wait ’til you hear this. . . .” said Harry breathlessly._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno guys XD I hope it's not terrible, I have no idea why this chapter made me struggle so much but it's here now and I hope it wasn't disappointing :D Hope you liked the moment with Ron, I want to have something similar for Hermione but I just haven't figured out how yet :/ (Maybe I'll leave it to book 2?)
> 
> P.s: Is Neville blond? Because I can't remember any moment where they say his hair colour and I saw this post where the Australian version of the books had some differences so now I'm confused, did I forget something, or is the Neville is blond a matter of different versions of the book?


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